Secure

Tormented

I went to Phil’s last night to talk things over. I had a long list of questions in my head that I needed answered, some that I knew would actually hurt me, but I felt I needed to know rather than not know and be tormented by them. I’ve become such a strong believer in…

Risk

I lay awake most of the night feeling sick to the pit of my stomach. Every time I dozed, the nausea woke me. Reminding me of everything. I don’t know if I felt sick at the thought of Phil with Antonia, or the thought of having had contact with Phil again. This morning I checked…

Sorry

This morning, while drying myself after my shower, I managed to pull a muscle in my back. It was painful and limiting my movements, so after dropping Annie to school, I nipped into Tom’s to ask him to knead it out a bit. It worked, and my back felt much better afterwards. Really what I…

Half

If ever I needed an answer to my many questions, it is now. If ever there is such a thing as Divine Timing, it is in this moment. My dilemma with Phil. My challenging year. My stresses and my ever-changing mind. Last night on Facebook, Theo popped up. It’s not the first time this has…

Greener

I’ve been missing Phil. Last week I craved him. I needed his warmth, love and security. I needed to feel everything that he is and all that he offers me. I’ll admit I was having a really bad week, but these last few days are better. I’m not having a bad time at all, but…

Anxious

This year has been challenging so far, to say the least. The year began with depression swallowing me whole. I can’t recall how I got through the first few months, but somehow things are starting to look a little brighter, so much so that tomorrow I am booked to get on a plane to spend the…

Right

It’s been two months since we left our old life and moved into our new home. It was absolutely the right decision, and we’re all much happier. Tom has surprised me and gone back to who he used to be. He’s proving to be a good dad to Annie and to my other children, and…