Struggle

Balanced

2013 was one of my most challenging years to date, with Rosie’s operation, her extended and very worrying time in intensive care and her month-long recovery, followed soon after by Amelia being diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue and spending what seemed like half the year sleeping. That has put added pressure on her at school in…

Resistance

I’m having a big lesson in letting go today. For the last three years, I have held on to bags and bags of stuff that we no longer use or want to put on eBay and get some money for, supposedly, but the trouble with that is I hate eBay. I hate the time it…

Enough

I’ve forgotten how strong I am. I’ve spent far too long thinking I’m weak, that I can’t do things, and I realised that’s just not me; it’s not who I am. I am, and always have been, a very strong character, and it’s time I not only remembered it, but celebrated it too. It’s my…

Losing

Dreaming Tom has a large spider on his hand; he is putting it near my face. I scream, “Don’t show me, don’t show me.” Responding I woke in a panic. Breathless and absolutely petrified, I retreated under my quilt to try to hide from the dream. Spiders represent my biggest fear, so to me, this…

Away

I’m really struggling to comprehend why this has happened now, but for the last eight days, I’ve really been struggling. I’ve been having mild panic attacks every time I go out. I’ve found myself standing in supermarkets, suddenly shaking and breathless, with an overwhelming feeling of panic and the need to get out of there…

Source

Dreaming I am at the house of a woman; I may be moving to her house. She appears to be well dressed, well spoken, not posh but has an air about her. Her house has the feeling of a lot of white and gold, although I don’t actually ‘see’ the colours. While talking to her, I realise that I am parked in the car park and haven’t bought a ticket. I go outside, and a man tells me not to bother as it’s almost the time when…

Struggling

I’m really struggling at the moment. I don’t know if it’s just because I’m a single parent or if there’s more to it than that, but everything is getting on top of me. I feel so overwhelmed. I feel like I’m letting my children down; we never have enough money for the things we need,…

Shatter

My heart feels as though it’s about to shatter with the pain of losing Maxine. I turned to Tom during my darkest hour, but he isn’t even attempting to understand my grief or what I’m going through. It’s all about him and his needs; all he cares about is himself. He didn’t even offer me…

Backseat

Tom’s family are coming to visit tomorrow. Since Annie was born, I’ve struggled to keep the house as clean and tidy as I used to. Annie’s a very unsettled baby, so housework has had to take a backseat for a while. I asked Tom to give me a hand. I thought he would, as it’s…

Arms

Annie has been quite an unsettled baby so far. She wants to be in my arms, feeding or cuddling constantly. I’m barely able to get anything else done without her crying. While I love the bond that we have, I’m struggling with not being able to cook a dinner or spend time with the other…

Tag: Struggle