Playing

Wild

As I lay in bed last night, I started to question why I chose May 1st to start my yes challenge. I wondered why I don’t just start today; why does it have to be a significant date? What’s wrong with now? One of the first things I saw on Facebook today was this: ‘There…

Yes

I had an interesting conversation with Tom today. I told him how I felt yesterday when I took the kids out for lunch; how sad it made me feel. I elaborated and told him how I feel as though I have to stay single for at least the next eleven years until Annie is eighteen,…

Cousin

Dreaming I am in the living room. There are balls of wool unravelled by my feet, all different colours, some wrapped around my ankles. I think the kids have been playing with them, but there is wool everywhere. The doorbell rings; I am concerned as I don’t want anyone to come round and see the mess everywhere. I answer the door to find my cousin standing there. I keep looking back to make sure Jasper isn’t about to run out; I keep the door just slightly ajar. I…

Exclusive

Dreaming I am sitting in a tent. Horses are running around outside; I’m hoping they won’t come in. One does. It looks like a blue Bulldog. I am on holiday in Cornwall with Phil, the kids, Tom and his new girlfriend (he doesn’t have one in waking life). The tide is out; golden sands are crying out to be played on before the sea comes back in, but I can’t find anywhere to park other than outside a rough-looking pub which turns out to be an exclusive members pub for posh people. They instruct me…

Runners

Dreaming It is morning; I have just woken. Greg/Tom (Greg is more prominent) is in bed next to me.

Forward

We were supposed to be clearing the garden today, ready for new turf. It’s a big garden with lots of crap dumped in it, so it was a whole day’s work. I went outside with Annie and started to tidy while Tom sat doing nothing except scrolling through Facebook. Eventually, after I’d dug up and…

Something

I feel so worthless and so stupid. Everything I say or do gets picked apart and ridiculed by Tom. The other day, I was singing to myself as I did the housework. Tom heard me and said that he was embarrassed by it because I’m just trying to be something that I’m not. He’s always…

Precious

The girls had an inset day at school, and Josh had no college, so as the weather was unseasonably warm and sunny, we drove to the beach. We spent a couple of hours making sandcastles, paddling, stone-throwing, playing at being sand angels, being buried in the sand, racing along the beach, and getting wet and…

Skill

Dreaming I am in Dad’s car, in the backseat. Abi is in the passenger seat, and Josh is driving. We are going to Jim and Mary’s house. I have to pick Dad up again at 1.30 pm; it is already that time. A car approaches ours, and Josh skillfully reverses the car to let the…

Shutters

Dreaming I am helping out in a classroom. The children are all young, and there are two sets of twins. I am pouring drinks for everyone. Occasionally I swear, but I know I shouldn’t in front of the kids; it is inappropriate. I look up out of huge windows and see a plane flying really…

Cleaning

Dreaming I am at the house on Church Lane. There are three cars in the driveway; Dad, Abi, her boyfriend, and I are supposed to be cleaning Dad’s car, but I am the only one doing anything. I am scrubbing really hard on some areas to get the dirt out; I am using a strong…

Gang

Dreaming I have been to the theatre with Tom. We go back to his house, which is a bungalow. It has a large grass area out the front of the house and a block of flats behind it. There is a gang war going on as we approach; we ignore it and go in. Tom…

Imposing

Dreaming I am living at Church Lane, but this time it belongs to me. It is the summer. Abi lives with me, and Izzy lives next door. Abi comes into the front living room; she is dressed smartly. I ask her where she is going; she tells me to a meeting, and she goes, leaving…

Miracle

Dreaming I am in a room that is at the top of a building. I am aware of at least one floor below me. In the room with me are many people, but I’m not sure if I know any of them. Despite that, we all talk to each other, and we are all friends,…

Awake

Dreaming Josh, Amelia and Rosie are awake and playing; it is 4 am. I shout at them all to go back to bed. Josh’s bed is under the sink, in the cupboard. Tom is leaving to go to the Puu Isles; I am talking on the phone and don’t say goodbye to him. As soon…

Baby

Dreaming I am at 18 Devon Street. Erin knocks on the door; she has a friend with her. They both have babies that are seven months old. They ask if I will look after the babies. I agree, and they hand me the babies’ bags and put a baby in each arm. Erin kisses her…