Stupid

List

I decided to make a list tonight of all the reasons I will never get back together with Tom. I went through my diaries, listing everything out, and as I read through everything, more and more memories came back to the surface – things I had never written about but were obviously hurtful enough for…

Forward

We were supposed to be clearing the garden today, ready for new turf. It’s a big garden with lots of crap dumped in it, so it was a whole day’s work. I went outside with Annie and started to tidy while Tom sat doing nothing except scrolling through Facebook. Eventually, after I’d dug up and…

Still

We rarely have sex anymore, but last night we did for the first time in a very, very long time. It wasn’t what I wanted it to be at all, though. It didn’t connect us; in fact, when we’d finished, he said just about the cruellest thing anyone has ever said to me. He said….

Garden

Tom has been away for four days visiting his family. While he was gone, I decided to give the garden a makeover to create somewhere for the children to actually be able to use. All of my children, Susie and her two children, and my two oldest nephews came to help. By the end of…

Course

Even though Tom complains every single time I take photographs of Annie, saying I will blind her or damage her eyes with the flash, and even though he constantly complains that I’m always photographing something, he told me a few days ago that he’s paid for me to go to college one morning a week…

Holiday

We’ve just returned from a visit to Tom’s family, and I hated every minute of it.

Something

I feel so worthless and so stupid. Everything I say or do gets picked apart and ridiculed by Tom. The other day, I was singing to myself as I did the housework. Tom heard me and said that he was embarrassed by it because I’m just trying to be something that I’m not. He’s always…

Ruined

From the moment I met Tom, he’s always complained about me not wanting my photograph taken, so today when he took some photos of Annie and asked me to be in them, I agreed. When he looked back at the photos tonight, he said I looked stupid and that I ruined the pictures. What the…

Brother

Dreaming There is a party for someone in the family. It is taking place in a club/pub but also at my mum’s house. She is throwing a party, but I don’t think anyone will turn up at hers; I think they’ll all stay at the club. I am at mum’s; it’s time for the guests…

Lunch

Tom took us all out for lunch today. While we were there – for no reason that I could find – he started ranting about people in this country all being stupid, especially me, and that his country and everyone who lives there is much better in every way. I asked if it was so…

Rollercoaster

Just as I was starting to really believe things were changing, I’m now worrying that things with Tom are slipping again. Tonight, I popped out for an hour to take Josh to his judo class. When I got back, I wanted to have a little bit of time to unwind, but then Annie woke up….

Pointless

I boxed up my spiritual books today and put them in the loft. It seems pointless keeping them out nowadays. My books haven’t been touched since we moved in together, as Tom made me feel stupid for believing in such things. Maybe it’ll be something that I pick up again one day in the distant…

Before

Tom and I went to the school to pick the girls up this afternoon. As we walked along, I told him I was thinking of putting a wooden floor in the living room. He asked who would be laying it, to which I told him that I would. He scoffed and said, ‘YOU?!‘ and then…

Tag: Stupid