Trapped

Dreaming I am standing in a room; Phil is there; he is still overweight, maybe even more so. Phil is sitting down; I am standing. I become aware of my breasts and feel a lump in the nipple area of each breast. The lumps are small boils. I start to squeeze the left one, and…

Be

I spent the afternoon with Phil today. It was perfect. Every time we’re together, it feels so good. Being with Phil is the only time I feel grounded; the rest of the time, I feel slightly out of control and very empty. Despite that, I still can’t say that I won’t end things with him…

Deep

When I have a counselling session that goes quite deep, it can leave me feeling a little bit like I’m in shock for a day or two afterwards. It leaves me drained and exhausted.

Lunch

Tom took us all out for lunch today. While we were there – for no reason that I could find – he started ranting about people in this country all being stupid, especially me, and that his country and everyone who lives there is much better in every way. I asked if it was so…

Cycle

It started again this morning – the name-calling and being nasty to me. This time I snapped. I told him that I couldn’t take much more of it, that I’ve told him before that I hate it, and I asked him why – if he loves me – does he continue to do something that…