Cathartic Photography

Sexual

Craig’s refusal to jump into bed with me knocked me, but I’m glad he did. It made me realise just how insecure I am still – about my body, about myself as a person, but mostly about myself as a sexual woman. It’s been so long since I’ve been sexual or even seen myself as…

Naked

Meeting Craig has been so good for me. We talk all the time, and I really feel that for the first time in such a long time, it’s safe for me to really be myself. We talk about almost everything, and I never feel that I have to hold back with him. The only thing…

Searching

As I suspected, it didn’t last. I really tried to think positively today. To remind myself that I’ve been a single parent before and that I can do it again. That I will find a way to leave this soul-destroying relationship. I still don’t know how, but I know I have to keep searching until…

Heavier

Why won’t Tom ever have sex with me? Am I that ugly? Is my body really that disgusting to look at? Is it because I’ve had four children and my stomach isn’t flat, or because my breasts have been full of milk for the last two years? I know I’m a bit heavier than when…

Real

I photographed myself again today. With no makeup. I never let people see me without my makeup on, but I took the photograph, and then I posted it on Facebook. I don’t really understand it, but I feel as though I want to strip away all the falseness and lies, and let people – and…

Overwhelming

Something’s going on. I feel different. I’m starting to see things differently and starting to see the truth of what’s really going on, but taking photographs is changing things too. After my self-portrait yesterday, I really felt like doing another one today. It’s very unlike me because I hate having my photograph taken, and I…

Blue

I’ve been interested in photography since I was ten years old. Over the last year, rather than just snapping away with the camera, I’ve been trying to do more with it. When things with Tom are really bad, it’s something to escape to. I can grab the children, go to the park with my camera…