Shut Down

Trust

Phil went home early this morning, and for me, it just couldn’t have come soon enough. He was sulky and needy from the minute I woke until he left. I thought for a second that I was closing down on him again, and then I thought about all the other times I’ve closed down on…

Destroyed

I saw my counsellor for the second time today. She asked how my week had been and if I knew what I’d like to talk about today. I explained that, despite having seen a couple of counsellors before, I’d always refused to talk about my mum, so I said that for our sessions I know…

Lock

Dreaming I am in Alan and Sam’s house outside in an alley; it is daytime. Sam has come outside to look at something. We go back inside, as I am going to be at their house when Sam goes out. I am sitting on a chair using my laptop. It is nighttime; it is dark….

Broken

I missed Phil so much all day today. I longed to see him, snuggle in his arms, and just talk. I decided to book something as a belated birthday present for him – a night away. I decided on a date, but when I spoke to him, he said he had plans on that day….

Maybe

I did some research today and found some really interesting information that fits me to a T. It’s making me think that I have relationship anxiety. There’s no wonder, with my parents’ example of a relationship, and their emotional neglect throughout my childhood; Danny cheating and then abandoning me with a baby; Greg’s selfishness and…

Deep

When I have a counselling session that goes quite deep, it can leave me feeling a little bit like I’m in shock for a day or two afterwards. It leaves me drained and exhausted.