Maxine

Notes

It’s been two weeks since Maxine died. My devastation is beyond anything I’ve felt before. It has shaken me to my absolute core. I seem to be spending too much time in bed – feeling scared, more than anything else. Maxine was a light that shone so brightly. She lit up the room when she walked…

Spirit

Dreaming I’m at Louise’s house, looking over at Maxine’s house. I’m in Maxine’s house; there are many rooms. Maxine is there in spirit; her sisters are there. I’m watching people walk along a bridge when a boy falls over the side. Maxine’s sister grabs him just in time There is a large tank of water; Amy and Alfie are in one side, Michael in the other. I produce something to give to Michael which has lots of kind words on it. There’s another man in the tank/pool on the right. (Tom) He…

Gloomy

It’s dark, raining, windy and gloomy. The weather is matching my current mood perfectly. I drove to the beach, sat in the car and watched the world go by. I thought about Maxine, and I thought about Tom and Annie. I can’t do it. I don’t want to do it. I don’t want to be…

Shatter

My heart feels as though it’s about to shatter with the pain of losing Maxine. I turned to Tom during my darkest hour, but he isn’t even attempting to understand my grief or what I’m going through. It’s all about him and his needs; all he cares about is himself. He didn’t even offer me…

Battling

Overnight

I had a few friends over tonight to celebrate my new beginning with me. It’s the first time that I’ve had friends at my home in four years because I never felt as though I could with Tom. He always made it really clear that the house was his, and permission had to be sought…

Tag: Maxine