Antonia

Distance

I woke feeling utterly drained. Phil had sent me a message just before I went to sleep, asking what I wanted. I want to be whole. I want to heal myself; I don’t want him to fix me anymore. I need to do this for myself. I want him to live the life he wants,…

Unveiled

Today was so hard. I spent the whole day questioning if I am only interested in Phil now because he’s moved on, or was it just the kick I needed to make me see what he means to me? The more the day went on, the more my head imploded until, in the end, I…

Risk

I lay awake most of the night feeling sick to the pit of my stomach. Every time I dozed, the nausea woke me. Reminding me of everything. I don’t know if I felt sick at the thought of Phil with Antonia, or the thought of having had contact with Phil again. This morning I checked…

Headfuck

Amelia saw Phil holding hands with a woman. I’ve barely thought about Phil since we split up, apart from when I slept with Tom and I realised that he isn’t a patch on Phil in any way. Why then, now that he’s definitely moved on, do I start to care? At first I felt pleased…