Damaged

Hurricane

I’m agitated and in the midst of a hurricane of panic. I’m back in touch with my old faithful friends: grief, loneliness and emptiness. I have so many thoughts swirling around in the depths of my mind, making their way out to become my reality. The children and I went out for lunch today. To…

Destroyed

I saw my counsellor for the second time today. She asked how my week had been and if I knew what I’d like to talk about today. I explained that, despite having seen a couple of counsellors before, I’d always refused to talk about my mum, so I said that for our sessions I know…

Headfuck

Amelia saw Phil holding hands with a woman. I’ve barely thought about Phil since we split up, apart from when I slept with Tom and I realised that he isn’t a patch on Phil in any way. Why then, now that he’s definitely moved on, do I start to care? At first I felt pleased…

Losing

Dreaming Tom has a large spider on his hand; he is putting it near my face. I scream, “Don’t show me, don’t show me.” Responding I woke in a panic. Breathless and absolutely petrified, I retreated under my quilt to try to hide from the dream. Spiders represent my biggest fear, so to me, this…

Hearing

For the last year of living with Tom, Rosie would come home from school, go straight to her bedroom and stay there until the next morning, apart from coming down for meals and when Tom was at the pub. She’d stopped being affectionate with me, wore black all the time and just looked so sad…

Oppression

Dreaming I am in the dining area of the kitchen of the house at Church Lane. Dad is sitting at the dining table, and Mum is in the kitchen area. The room is unbearably hot, with steam swarming around the room making it difficult to see clearly. I can see enough to see that the house hasn’t changed at all over the last twenty years. Unable to stand the heat any longer, I open the window, releasing a torrent of steam. I watch relief wash over Mum, and then…

Ignite

Dreaming I pull into a car park and park my car. I am at a hospital; there are alarms going off and firemen everywhere. The hospital is on fire. I can’t see any flames, but I can see smoke. To my right, a Japanese man gets out of his car and takes four photographs of…

Cheat

Dreaming Tom has told me that he has cheated on me by having a one-night stand. I don’t react and just accept it. He also tells me that he’s going to London for the weekend as he’s seeing someone else but will be back after the weekend. I accept that too. I am sitting on…

Blocked

Dreaming

Josh

Dreaming I am in a large department store with Josh. I see Fern and ask her if she is pregnant; she is, and she shows me her tummy. I show her mine because I’m pregnant too. I hear Bridget call me; she’s pregnant too. I ask Fern how long she has left; she says two weeks, but…

Tag: Damaged