Excursion

Anxious

This year has been challenging so far, to say the least. The year began with depression swallowing me whole. I can’t recall how I got through the first few months, but somehow things are starting to look a little brighter, so much so that tomorrow I am booked to get on a plane to spend the…

Float

Tom came back home from visiting his family today.

Clarity

How?

Looking back, I can see that I’ve always put everyone else’s needs before my own. I always thought that was what made me a good mum, partner, sister, daughter and friend, but I’m starting to feel like a complete fool.

Garden

Tom has been away for four days visiting his family. While he was gone, I decided to give the garden a makeover to create somewhere for the children to actually be able to use. All of my children, Susie and her two children, and my two oldest nephews came to help. By the end of…

Holiday

We’ve just returned from a visit to Tom’s family, and I hated every minute of it.

Steps

Tom’s many trips away and the endless nights at the pub have been really affecting me, so when I saw a 6-man tent in perfect condition for sale for £25, I snapped it up. I planned a weekend away for us all. He refused to come with us. The children and I came back from…

News

Tom returned from yet another weekend away yesterday – his eighth in the past six months, on top of a seven-day skiing holiday, countless nights out, and his usual three evenings a week at the pub. This weekend’s trip was to a family wedding. Annie and I were invited, but not my other children. When…

Hours

Tom went to Twickenham yesterday to watch the rugby. He left home at 10 am and didn’t come back till 1 this morning, and yet he’s just left to go to the pub for the evening. He’ll be gone for seven hours. Why? Why can’t he ever stay in and spend some time with me,…

Mother

Tom came home from his skiing holiday yesterday. I went to pick him up at the airport, but when I saw him, my heart sank. I suddenly realised what a lovely stress-free week the children and I had, and how it would all change. He appeared at the airport entrance sun-burned and saying he was…

Manage

It’s Tom’s sixth day of his skiing holiday with his family. A holiday that was too expensive to take me and the children on, but not too expensive for him. I’m exhausted managing everything on my own with all four children, although it has been nice not to have any arguing or name-calling. Being alone…

Trip

Just one month after his last excursion, Tom left for a ten-day skiing holiday this morning. Joining him are his brother, sister-in-law, niece and nephews; uncles, aunts, and cousins. His family. We, his partner, daughter, and step-children, weren’t invited. Again.

Cost

Tom left home for another four days away to attend his best friend’s birthday party. Again, we weren’t asked to join him, and again, I’ve been left at home alone with all of the children. He did give me £50 to buy food for the next few days, while he’s taken £500 over with him,…

Behind

Tom went to visit his family today; he’ll be gone for five days. Other than having my family around tomorrow, I don’t really have anything planned for my Tom-free time – other than lots of counting down the hours until he’s home. I miss him already, but I also wish he hadn’t left me and…

Allowance

Tom and I don’t have a joint bank account; he doesn’t want one. Instead, he gives me money for food. Until recently, he was giving me £10 or £20 each day to get dinner, but when I said I wanted to be able to do a weekly shop, he agreed to put a monthly amount…