Tom’s many trips away and the endless nights at the pub have been really affecting me, so when I saw a 6-man tent in perfect condition for sale for £25, I snapped it up. I planned a weekend away for us all.

He refused to come with us.

The children and I came back from that trip yesterday, and I’ve come down to earth with a bump. I think we might be hitting breaking point. Last weekend, when he went away for four days, I loved it. The day he was due back, I was hoping he’d ring to say he was staying longer, because I knew the moment he walked through the door the arguing would start again – and it did.

He didn’t come camping with us because he said he needed to finish the bathroom, which, twelve weeks since he started it, still isn’t finished. I don’t know what he’s been doing, because it looks no different to me.

Yesterday, he turned up at the campsite to help bring some things back, but left after only ninety minutes, refusing to join us on a walk because he didn’t want to get caught in traffic. When we got home later, I found him outside chatting with a mate from the pub. He changed his top, announced he was going out for a drink, and left. I said we’d just got home, that we hadn’t seen him all weekend, and pointed out he could have gone Friday or Saturday while we were away. His reply: “You know I like to go to the pub on a Sunday.” He didn’t ask us how our weekend was, and he didn’t even say goodbye to the children. They never got the chance to tell him about all the fun we’d had.

Tonight I went to Google something. I typed the letter P and up popped the search history. “Porn tube.” I checked further and saw he’d been on several porn sites while I was away. I know it’s only porn, and I don’t object to it in a healthy relationship, but ours isn’t healthy. We never have sex anymore – it’s been months. He always says he has no sex drive, that he’s just not interested. I think what he’s really saying is, he’s not interested in me.

I’m so angry and really can’t see how this is ever going to get any better when all he ever seems to do is think of himself.

The only good part of the day today was going to the park with Annie. The weather was gorgeous with sunshine and blue skies. While we were there, Annie stood up and confidently took five strong steps instead of her usual wobbly one-at-a-time steps.

I can’t help but think that maybe her strong steps are a symbolic message to me – to do the same.