Unattractive

Reminiscing

I couldn’t settle last night. I was restless because Phil had texted me in the afternoon and was being sexually suggestive. The messages stopped abruptly at 6 pm, mid-conversation, which means he chose to spend the night with Antonia. Strangely, I don’t feel jealous at all; I just feel very uneasy with it all. All…

Halloween

It’s Halloween… to mark the occasion, I started the day off facing some of my worst fears.

Greener

I’ve been missing Phil. Last week I craved him. I needed his warmth, love and security. I needed to feel everything that he is and all that he offers me. I’ll admit I was having a really bad week, but these last few days are better. I’m not having a bad time at all, but…

Movement

The last few weeks have been a very stressful time. So much change has happened, inwardly and outwardly, and I feel unsettled and stressed. I’ve had a constant feeling of anxiety – the sick feeling, the constant feeling of being on edge. Too much happened at once.

Eat

For the second time, I am reading Eat Pray Love. The first time I read the book, it touched me. It made me cry, and it aroused long-forgotten feelings in me. This time it’s resonating within me deeply. There are so many things that are comparable to my life throughout the book, even though our physical journeys are…

Integrity

Discoveries are not always good things, but maybe something to learn from… I discovered that I speak from my head and not my heart. I’m not sure I’ve ever really spoken from the heart. I definitely think that what I say or do an awful lot of the time is driven by fear, but how…

Heavier

Why won’t Tom ever have sex with me? Am I that ugly? Is my body really that disgusting to look at? Is it because I’ve had four children and my stomach isn’t flat, or because my breasts have been full of milk for the last two years? I know I’m a bit heavier than when…

Rejection

Tom used to stay downstairs watching TV until midnight, but these days, if he’s not at the pub, he goes up to bed by nine o’clock to watch it there. I can’t bring myself to get into bed that early – Josh doesn’t go to sleep until at least 10 pm, and if I went…

Tag: Unattractive