I went to see my old friend Sarah today. We have been friends for twenty years, and while we don’t see each other very often anymore because of work and family commitments, when we do, we’re always as close as we ever were, and manage to slip back into comfortable conversation and laughter.

Except for today.

As I sat in her living room, I could barely say a word. I couldn’t make eye contact with her, and I couldn’t hold any kind of conversation with her.

My confidence has gone.

I felt as though I had nothing worthwhile or of interest to say to her. I no longer feel clever enough to engage in any kind of intelligent conversation, and I certainly can’t laugh and joke with her the way I’ve always done.

Instead, I sat back and let her do all the talking while I felt panicky, anxious, and unable to interact on even the most basic of levels.