Tom has been really helpful lately, and I can’t help thinking that it’s because he’s trying to worm his way back in and push Phil out.

Today he turned up with his jet-washer to clean the trampoline. I told him that I was going to do it, but he insisted, and then spent the next couple of hours cleaning it thoroughly and ensuring it was spotless for the children to play on.

I can’t appreciate this as much as I should because, yet again, it feels as though he’s taking away all of my choices and pushing his way in to try and get what he wants. I think he wants me to believe that I can’t manage without him, and that I don’t need Phil, and so if he makes himself available to do everything, then I will change my mind about Phil. Also about us. I’m not going to do that.

What I have with Phil might not be exactly what I want it to be, but it’s still a million times better than the abuse I went through with him.