Last night, I went out with my friend Sam, and it did me so much good.

Although I’m suffering slightly today, mainly from tiredness, I’d do it all again in a heartbeat. I love our nights out together, although they haven’t happened for such a long time. Most of all, I’m feeling something that I haven’t felt in so long. Increased self-esteem.

We got talking to a couple of men. One of them, Martin, a man thirteen years younger than me, kept telling me I was gorgeous, and then he kissed me.

For so long, I’ve seen myself as fat, ugly, old and unworthy of attracting anyone, but Martin was really good-looking as well as young. I’m not stupid; I know he was drunk, and I know he was likely just hoping for no-strings sex for the night, but even when people are drunk, they generally don’t go kissing someone they’re not slightly attracted to. The whole time, he couldn’t keep his hands off me, and quite frankly, I don’t care if it was the drink talking; it made me feel good.

I feel better about myself than I have in a long time, and I’ve realised that when it’s the right time for me to be looking for a man, I don’t need to settle for someone who’s not really my type just because I don’t think I’m attractive enough. I’ve been doing that for far too long.