Two days ago I took Tom out for lunch.

For the first time in a very long time, maybe ever, I spoke openly and honestly to him. I could see what he was thinking: that within a few days I would take it all back and not mean any of it.

We talked a lot and decided to give our relationship another go.

We’ve decided to leave sex out of it for now, though; I feel that I need to build up a friendship with him to be able to discover the truth of what really went on between us in the past. Was it him, was it me, or was it just us? Whatever it was, in my heart, this is not over with him by a long shot.

Tonight I went out, and Tom watched the children. He kissed me goodbye when he left, and said he thought I needed it, as I seemed a bit grumpy. He was right; I’m very tired, always grumpy when tired. I’m realising how much he notices about me and how considerate he is to my moods and needs. I never saw this before.

It’s early days; I won’t put too much hope into it all yet. I need to build on the foundations we have with each other. Currently, I don’t know if they’re deep enough to withhold any weight, but time will tell. I’m going to add to the foundations with respect and friendship, kindness and understanding. I think that is all either of us can give at the moment.