Dreaming

Tom and I are getting married. It is the morning of the wedding, but I’ve left the arranging until the last minute. This isn’t a problem though; it’s just the way I do everything. I choose a dress and some gold shoes, and we get married, although this part doesn’t feature. After the ceremony, we have a couple of photos taken by the photographer we’ve hired, and then we go on to the reception. Me and some other people – but not Tom – pull up outside a venue I’ve never seen before, although I’ve booked it. It’s called Mink and has a black and white sign, possibly with a cat on it. I feel embarrassed that I’ve chosen such a back street location, but when we enter, it is really opulent-looking.

It is the next day. Tom isn’t here; he has taken Annie out. I realise that Tom and I haven’t had any photographs taken of us together, and I realise that we’d barely seen each other since the wedding. I love him, but I don’t feel any different about having him as my husband because he isn’t here. It’s like nothing has changed; he is still not with me. Tom comes home with Annie; I hug him. He is really tall and doesn’t look anything like Tom, but I love him.

I am in bed; Phil is there too, but I don’t want him there. Out of the window, on a grass mound, I can see a fox with its baby, but when I look more closely, I see it’s a dog with its puppy. I get out of bed. I want to make the bed. I ask Phil to get out so I can make it, but he won’t get out fully. He moves most of his body but still ensures that some is on the bed. I feel really angry and am shouting at him, but nothing works; he just won’t move. I try to make the bed with him on it; he tries to help. I shout at him for helping, as I like to do it my way and he’s doing it wrong. I feel so irate. I clench my fists and run over to punch him, but I stop at the last second. I just want him to leave. I tell him he has to go home now because I don’t want him here. I ask him if he wants my pile of music books. I then realise it would be silly to give them away, and I take them back.

Responding

I woke up with lyrics from Don’t You Worry Child by Swedish House Mafia in my head. I can’t remember the exact words, but the message was about not worrying because heaven has a plan.