Tangled

A few weeks ago, when I was right in the midst of terror and crisis, I got back in touch with my old psychotherapist, whom I first started seeing when I needed the support to be able to leave Tom. I’ve had a few sessions with him recently, but after today’s session, I realised something….

Glad

Dreaming I am standing on one side of a road; there is a man standing on the other side. We are holding a piece of orange tape in our hands. There is a woman in the middle, almost like a judge or referee but with no power as such, more a gentle guide in the process. We both pull on the tape. I can feel it digging into my hands, and then it snaps. There is a sense of relief; I felt quite angry with the man and am glad it has snapped now.

List

I decided to make a list tonight of all the reasons I will never get back together with Tom. I went through my diaries, listing everything out, and as I read through everything, more and more memories came back to the surface – things I had never written about but were obviously hurtful enough for…

Cruel

His barbed words woke me constantly throughout the night to remind me of the past that just yesterday was my present. The past that I now know isn’t going to go away just because I’ve fled its shackles. The stars in the night sky sealed my heart as much as they sealed my fate. Soaking…

Money

Dreaming My Dad has died and left me nothing. I am at his house searching for his money. I know he has left it somewhere. I search everywhere, but I can’t find it. I remember the secret part of the house that no one but me knows about. I am certain he would have put it there. It is at the back of the house and through a door that nobody else goes into. I have been in this secret part before in another dream;…

Oppression

Dreaming I am in the dining area of the kitchen of the house at Church Lane. Dad is sitting at the dining table, and Mum is in the kitchen area. The room is unbearably hot, with steam swarming around the room making it difficult to see clearly. I can see enough to see that the house hasn’t changed at all over the last twenty years. Unable to stand the heat any longer, I open the window, releasing a torrent of steam. I watch relief wash over Mum, and then…

Integrity

Discoveries are not always good things, but maybe something to learn from… I discovered that I speak from my head and not my heart. I’m not sure I’ve ever really spoken from the heart. I definitely think that what I say or do an awful lot of the time is driven by fear, but how…

Question

The counselling is really making me look at and question every aspect of my life. It’s forcing me to delve deeper than I’ve ever gone before into all areas. Today it was money, namely Tom’s money. I don’t feel that I’m entitled to it, that it’s wrong for me to ask. And then there’s my…

Value

I’m not sure if it’s five or six weeks of seeing the psychotherapist, but I do know that I am feeling stronger each week, despite my near disaster three days ago. In turn, Tom seems weaker. His moods are awful lately; he senses the change within me, and it must threaten him. After all, he…

Testing

Dreaming I am in bed with Greg; he starts to touch me. I get aroused, despite having no feelings for him. I know I have to listen to my body and have sex with him. I go to the toilet first (I needed a wee in waking life); while I’m in there, I hear banging. I presume the banging is the bed against the wall and that Greg is masturbating. I open the bathroom door and see Danny coming up the stairs. It is 4.45 am, and Danny is just getting home. I look to the bedroom; Greg is packing a suitcase….

Investment

I’ve started seeing a psychotherapist. I can’t afford to, but I can’t afford not to. I’m seeing it as an investment in mine and my children’s future. I feel as though I’m going mad. Am I ill? Have I gone insane? Is this all my fault? I need to know. I need someone to give…

Consequence

Dreaming Tom and I are arguing; I feel really angry and frustrated with him. I get two knives out of the kitchen drawer and go into the dining room with them, but I no longer feel angry. I go into the kitchen to find Tom standing with his back to me by one of the sides. I go behind him and jokingly run the big knife along the top of his shoulder muscle. It splits right open, and he starts to bleed badly. I look at the wound; it is massive, and I realise it…

Snow

It snowed really heavily last night and was still snowing this morning when we awoke. The girls stayed off school, Tom and Josh stayed home from work, and we all played out in the snow. My neighbour Sam came around in the afternoon; we all built snowmen in the garden, but then Tom started making…

Breathless

Annie has slept through the night twice since she was born; most nights she’s up at least four times between 11am – 6am. I have always been the one to deal with her; Tom never has, nor has he offered to. She’s now started getting up at 6 am every day, so as well as…

Me

The older children were all at their dad’s today, so it was just Tom, Annie and I at home. I felt as though I could do with some time to myself, so I asked him if he could take Annie out for a couple of hours. I thought he would jump at the chance as…

Knowledge

One day last week, Tom woke up in a bit of a mood. The best way for me to deal with his moods is to leave him alone until he snaps out of it. He was working from home, so he spent the next couple of hours on his laptop. I got on and tidied…

Garden

Tom has been away for four days visiting his family. While he was gone, I decided to give the garden a makeover to create somewhere for the children to actually be able to use. All of my children, Susie and her two children, and my two oldest nephews came to help. By the end of…

Sided

Dreaming I am in my living room. I look to my right and see a brown snake near the door. I’m not sure at first whether it is a snake or a slow worm, but I realise after a while that it has to be a snake as it is too long to be a…

Fraud

I have just attended a group for domestic abuse, and it was awful. I went along as I’ve wondered for a long time if Tom might be abusive, but I also wonder if I have mental health issues that make me paranoid and think that he’s abusive. I was hoping that by going along to…

Cold

I’m so angry with myself. Annie had me up so much on Sunday night, and last night even more so. I felt as if I had about two hours of sleep all night, so today I’ve been exhausted. At half past eight tonight, I told Tom I was going up to bed. I got my…

Severed

Dreaming I am at the register office in Linton. I am there to collect some papers/document. The cost is £68. The person at the desk isn’t sure this is right but tells me they will be ready later that afternoon. I look at the paper in my hand; it actually says £12. I tell the…

Wipe

Dreaming I am sitting in a chair with a door ahead of me. Tom is slightly in front, on the right, sitting on a toilet. Once he’s finished, he wipes his shit on my face. Responding The dream’s meaning seems so obvious. I’m being passive in this situation with Tom, and because of my passivity and lack of action, Tom is literally able to put all of his ‘shit’ onto me. Shit…

Submerged

Dreaming I am driving my car in the car park in Seabourne to get to the beach. It is a hot and sunny summer’s day around lunchtime, and I thought the car park would be packed, but in fact, it’s fairly empty. There are loads of spaces for me to park at the far end…

Change

Susie called me a bitch, and I have to agree with her. She was talking about how people change, and she said that I’ve changed so much over the last couple of years. She said I’ve gone from being really fun, outgoing, easygoing, funny, not caring what anyone thought in a carefree kind of way,…

Steps

Tom’s many trips away and the endless nights at the pub have been really affecting me, so when I saw a 6-man tent in perfect condition for sale for £25, I snapped it up. I planned a weekend away for us all. He refused to come with us. The children and I came back from…

Stoop

Rosie had a birthday party today. She’d invited seven friends for a swim and sleepover. Unfortunately, when we arrived at the pool, Tom announced he wouldn’t be staying to help. Instead, he went off to meet my dad for lunch, leaving me to supervise seven children aged eight to ten – some of whom can’t…

Always

My Dad rang this morning to tell me that my aunt has died unexpectedly. I got off the phone and, through tears, told Tom what had happened, but I had interrupted him while he was listening to records. He started shouting at me for annoying him, and said it’s always my fault that he’s annoyed….

Cycle

It started again this morning – the name-calling and being nasty to me. This time I snapped. I told him that I couldn’t take much more of it, that I’ve told him before that I hate it, and I asked him why – if he loves me – does he continue to do something that…

Yesterday

Yesterday was one of those days that I’d just like to be able to forget ever happened, yet I know it’s going to be one of those days that stays etched in my memory forever.

Names

As Annie had a feed and fell asleep in my arms, I was looking at her and thinking about how one day she could be looking down at her children, and it made me quite melancholy. I told Tom what I’d been thinking, and he said that we won’t be around to see grandchildren. I…

Allowance

Tom and I don’t have a joint bank account; he doesn’t want one. Instead, he gives me money for food. Until recently, he was giving me £10 or £20 each day to get dinner, but when I said I wanted to be able to do a weekly shop, he agreed to put a monthly amount…