Gentle

Replacement

At counselling today, we talked about Phil and a little about Tom. On the way to counselling, Tom had thrown a huge spanner in the works. He’d given me a lift as my car is still broken, and suddenly he asked my opinion on the time we had sex a couple of months ago. I…

Caring

Dreaming I am in a house that belongs to a couple who have two children. They have a side-by-side double pushchair. I ask the woman how she got it through the door; she explains that she left one child out – the older girl – until they were outside, and then she put her in….

Destroyed

I saw my counsellor for the second time today. She asked how my week had been and if I knew what I’d like to talk about today. I explained that, despite having seen a couple of counsellors before, I’d always refused to talk about my mum, so I said that for our sessions I know…

Flaws

Never has it been clearer to me that I need to do some major work on myself. I’m taking a long, hard look at myself this week and seeing that I am actually completely unfulfilled in almost every area of my life. I feel empty much of the time, and I lack intimate relationships because…

Company

I’ve spent the last couple of weeks thinking I wanted a relationship with Tom again. I know deep down that I don’t. Having spent a bit more time than usual with him this week, with the kids being home, I can see that he’s exactly the man he was, the man I left. He’s still…

Tangled

A few weeks ago, when I was right in the midst of terror and crisis, I got back in touch with my old psychotherapist, whom I first started seeing when I needed the support to be able to leave Tom. I’ve had a few sessions with him recently, but after today’s session, I realised something….

Responsibility

I went to a past life workshop today. The first meditation we did was an Inner Guide meditation. The lady running the group, Margaret, laid out her tarot cards and asked us to choose the one that jumped out at us. Immediately one did, but I wanted to look at all the others first. I…

Glad

Dreaming I am standing on one side of a road; there is a man standing on the other side. We are holding a piece of orange tape in our hands. There is a woman in the middle, almost like a judge or referee but with no power as such, more a gentle guide in the process. We both pull on the tape. I can feel it digging into my hands, and then it snaps. There is a sense of relief; I felt quite angry with the man and am glad it has snapped now.

Runners

Dreaming It is morning; I have just woken. Greg/Tom (Greg is more prominent) is in bed next to me.

Level

Dreaming I am at a round table; on my left is a woman who is quite authoritative, and in front of me is a gentler woman. The gentle woman says it is time for me to go up a level. The other stronger woman says it’s time to go up to level 4 now.

Courage

I spent all week unsure whether to go back to the domestic abuse group or not. I didn’t want to go and spend the whole time in tears again, partly because I’m not good with being emotional in front of people and partly because I feel it stops the group doing what they’ve come for;…