Synchronicities

I’ve had a lot of indecision over the last year or two about my career, partly because of not feeling good enough – which I’m ignoring even if it still tries to remind me. Partly it was also because there are so many things I love doing – that I want to do and that…

Monopolised

Tom joined us for a barbecue today. Later, my dad popped round for a visit. Dad didn’t ask where the kids were – in their rooms – and he didn’t even attempt to say hello to them when they came downstairs shortly afterwards. Tom offered him food from the barbecue and then sat with us…

Going

I woke up feeling really down and worthless this morning. I had thoughts that I won’t even get an interview for the jobs I’ve applied for because I’m just not good enough. I feel totally worthless and like a failure. Not just because of work or career, but in all areas of my life. I…

Enough

I’ve forgotten how strong I am. I’ve spent far too long thinking I’m weak, that I can’t do things, and I realised that’s just not me; it’s not who I am. I am, and always have been, a very strong character, and it’s time I not only remembered it, but celebrated it too. It’s my…

Valuable

Dreaming A young woman is lying on the carpet on a landing in labour. There are two or three midwives with her. One of the midwives asks me to help out. She asks me to hold the baby while she delivers the baby. (The two acts are going on at the same time, involving the same baby.) She wants me to either hold the baby in my arms or lay it on a white sheet on top of a narrow strip of something. I think this…

Sexual

Craig’s refusal to jump into bed with me knocked me, but I’m glad he did. It made me realise just how insecure I am still – about my body, about myself as a person, but mostly about myself as a sexual woman. It’s been so long since I’ve been sexual or even seen myself as…

Colours

I created a website today and have decided to try and start my own photography business. The design and colours of the website are a true reflection of me, of what I crave at this time in my life and who I am deep down. All I have to do now is get over my…