I’ve had a lot of indecision over the last year or two about my career, partly because of not feeling good enough – which I’m ignoring even if it still tries to remind me. Partly it was also because there are so many things I love doing – that I want to do and that I’m good at – but I couldn’t make a decision. I felt that by doing more than one, people would see me as a ‘Jack of all trades, master of none ’, but then fate led me to a couple of websites at the end of last year of people that are also ‘Jacks’ and are totally making it work for them; it had a very liberating effect.

I realised I can be more than just one thing, that I can be good at many, and so I decided I would create a business or two incorporating all the things I want to do; photography, writing and genealogy.

I’m still in the process of working on the website and still creating some books to show potential clients but that’s very time consuming and costly so it’s a slow process.

I thought that was all I wanted to do but I’ve recently realised that there’s even more in me that’s bursting to come out and a series of synchronicities over the last month or so has really brought it to my attention.

Firstly, was the dream where I was turning upside down on a pole. I woke feeling elated, excited and full of energy.

A day or two later I went for my annual tarot reading with Margaret; I think this is the fourth year I’ve seen her. I go back because she’s always so accurate. This time she said I was right on the edge of something big career-wise; she felt it would be some kind of spiritual writing. I didn’t really take it on board until the next day when I went to see a spiritual counsellor. I was at the point of feeling that I needed some counselling again and decided to seek a spiritual rather than a ‘normal’ counsellor as this is definitely where I’m at in my life. The ‘counsellor’ wasn’t good. I drove away thinking I could do just as good a job if not better, and realised that I do quite a lot of the time with friends and family. I started to think that if that woman could charge £35 per hour for what she did, I could be charging for what I do. Margaret had told me during my reading to stop giving away my gifts for free because I was good enough to charge for them.

A few days after that, a friend emailed me asking advice. I totally zoned out almost into a meditative state and wrote a ton of stuff that afterwards she said was mind blowing and had really made her feel as though things weren’t impossible after all. That because of my words, she could see a completely different aspect to things and knew how to deal with the problem she had.

Shortly after that, I emailed the author of a dream book – not expecting a reply. He replied saying that my dream seemed to be showing big changes I’m going through as well as showing something that I can do which could be a gift to others.

I really started paying attention at this point and allowed myself to imagine doing some kind of work helping people. I spent a lot of time writing and meditating, realised I didn’t want to be a counsellor but that a spiritual/holistic coach was more along the right lines. I then battled with my usual argument that I have with every situation ~ that I have no training or qualifications and then I decided that I would just do it anyway – to become an intuitive holistic coach.

I made the decision that as a holistic coach I would do no more than I’ve been doing with friends, all of whom have benefited. I wouldn’t accept anyone who I felt needed more than just coaching and I would never take on anything that I wasn’t knowledgeable about and could therefore mess around with people’s lives.

As much as I still have a lot of doubts and fears, I know I just need to see where this can take me and if this is the right way to be helping other people.

Today I have been working on the design for a website; it’s clean, simple and basic, but I like it.

I have promised myself that if the coaching turns out to be more than I feel I can handle, I will stop because ultimately this is people’s lives but hopefully, it won’t come to that. Right now, I’m just really excited about helping people.