Miserable

Wednesday

I’m not happy. Driving back from the school run, it suddenly struck me that despite fooling myself for a long time that I am happy with my life, I’m not. My life is empty and meaningless. It’s 9.27am on a Wednesday morning; I’ve done the school run, and I’m back in bed. Why? Because I’m…

Going

I woke up feeling really down and worthless this morning. I had thoughts that I won’t even get an interview for the jobs I’ve applied for because I’m just not good enough. I feel totally worthless and like a failure. Not just because of work or career, but in all areas of my life. I…

Clone

This is it. This is the point in my life where I either change or I become a clone of my mother. The promise I made to myself as a teenager to never turn out like my mum is happening anyway. The woman who moans and complains constantly that life is terrible, that it’s boring,…

Intuition

Two days ago, I had an overwhelming urge to speak to Craig again. We haven’t spoken properly since November, other than the odd text here and there, so I texted him a quick hello. He replied asking how I was and said we should meet up sometime to catch up, so we arranged it for…

Forward

We were supposed to be clearing the garden today, ready for new turf. It’s a big garden with lots of crap dumped in it, so it was a whole day’s work. I went outside with Annie and started to tidy while Tom sat doing nothing except scrolling through Facebook. Eventually, after I’d dug up and…

Something

I feel so worthless and so stupid. Everything I say or do gets picked apart and ridiculed by Tom. The other day, I was singing to myself as I did the housework. Tom heard me and said that he was embarrassed by it because I’m just trying to be something that I’m not. He’s always…

Doctor

I don’t feel well. I’m not physically ill, but I think I might be mentally ill. I sit here constantly questioning if Tom is right and if there is something wrong with me; he’s always telling me that there is, maybe he’s right. Sometimes I think that it’s him, but most of the time, I…