I took the girls to a theme park today. Tom joined us.

I didn’t want him to, and the older children didn’t want him to come either. They said he makes everything about him and what he wants rather than allowing them to do what they want – which is true. I always feel as though I have to invite him to everything we do. If I don’t, he invites himself, and then causes an argument if I try to stop him from coming. Mostly though, I ask him because if I don’t and then he finds out afterwards, he becomes verbally abusive towards me.

I wish I could stand up to him, tell him to go and get on with his own life, and let me get on with mine, but I can’t. I’m too scared of his reaction.

The children were right, though; he did make it all about him, and because he was there, I felt uneasy and uptight all day and didn’t join in with anything. He then kept calling me boring and dull, going off with the children, being the fun dad, leaving me to be the dull mum who just stood holding the bags.

I hate this.

I need the parental support he offers me, but it leaves me feeling so weak and powerless.