I recently mentioned to Phil that I might start looking around for a new house to move to. The children and I have been in our home for a couple of years, but it was only ever supposed to be a stopgap. Yesterday, Phil asked me for the postcode for the area I want to move to as he was looking on estate agents’ websites for a place for us to live.

What the fuck!

It’s too soon. Far too soon. I don’t even know that I want to live with him. The older girls have met him once. Josh and Annie, not at all. Realistically, if we did both want that, we’d need to have known each other at least two years before I’d even consider living together.

I don’t really get what his rush is. We don’t know each other enough to take that step; it would be foolhardy. Also, why rush through this first stage? A stage of getting to know one another, really falling in love, or not.

This is the time to go through the ‘love is blind’ stage before really getting to know the person and working out if it is what we both want. It’s also the time to enjoy what we have – weekends alone, no cares in the world, no stresses about kids, no arguments over chores or bills. Why give that up so soon?

I know he’s impulsive. I know he’s an all or nothing kind of person and that he likes to do life FAST, but I have to put the brakes on here, slow him down and make him take the time to see if I am really the one he wants to be with, to see if he does like the children, and can live with them, but also that I, and the children want all of that too.