I’m generally not one of those people who tries to ignore change or keep life exactly as it’s always been. On the whole, I try to embrace change. I realised I’ve been resisting it for months despite the internal niggles to do something.

It’s almost two years since we moved into this house and it still doesn’t feel like home. No matter what I do, I never feel settled. Sometimes I manage to convince myself that I’m content here, but within days, the doubts creep back in. Every day I drive back to the area we used to live to take Annie to school, and only then do I feel like I’ve come home. It feels right. I need to go back there for many reasons, especially as it feels like it’s time to put old ghosts to rest.

I worked out that between school runs, running the kids to their friends who all live there, and seeing my friends, I do at least eighty-five miles a week running back and forth to our old area. Our lives are still very much there. I’ve tried to fall in love with the area we live in now, but it’s just not happening; maybe it’s not something I can fake when I don’t ever feel as though I fit in.

Today I started looking for houses. It may only be a short-term solution because I have bigger, more exciting plans in the pipeline, but I need to do it now.