Live

Two days ago, not long after waking, I lay in bed daydreaming about something or other when, suddenly, as clear as day, the words ‘Less than a year to live’ popped into my head. Two days later, I find myself thinking about how we would live our lives differently if we always knew how many…

Explore

I’ve always regarded myself as a homebody, someone who is happiest to be at home, doing my own thing and finding pleasure in pottering around the house, finding little things to do. I can’t deny it hasn’t brought me a lot of pleasure over the years, but today I feel something different, and it feels…

Wheel

One of my fondest childhood memories is from when I was about six or seven.  I was in Mrs Peters’ class at school; a teacher who was warm, fun, exciting, loving – everything Mum lacked at that time. I loved Mrs Peters with a passion. I loved her wild, wavy red hair, and most of…

Self-contained

More and more I’m starting to realise that I’m a selfish person, but the realisation isn’t actually bothering me. There was a time when this would have really upset me; I’d have denied it and done anything I could to prove myself to be selfless, but now I just don’t really mind or care. Is…

Balanced

2013 was one of my most challenging years to date, with Rosie’s operation, her extended and very worrying time in intensive care and her month-long recovery, followed soon after by Amelia being diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue and spending what seemed like half the year sleeping. That has put added pressure on her at school in…

Weakening

Phil messaged me for the first time since he ended things. I can’t help thinking he did it because he knows it’s my child-free weekend coming up and he’s hoping I’ll weaken. He sent me a picture and words he found which he thought I’d like; we both know it was an excuse. I’ve been…

Half

If ever I needed an answer to my many questions, it is now. If ever there is such a thing as Divine Timing, it is in this moment. My dilemma with Phil. My challenging year. My stresses and my ever-changing mind. Last night on Facebook, Theo popped up. It’s not the first time this has…

Path

My feelings for Phil have changed, yet again. How many times does this have to happen before I act on them? How many times am I going to have loving feelings towards him, and the next thing he’s the last man I want? It started on Saturday. He was due to come over, but I…

Around

When Tom picked Annie up to go to his tonight, he managed, yet again, to upset her and unsettle her enough for her not to want to go. Every week is a battle to get her to go, and quite frankly, I don’t really know why I make her. Well, that’s not strictly true; I…

Future

I’m still having some doubts about whether I feel enough for Phil or not. Really, these fears started last week when I spoke to Karen about a forthcoming appointment we have with a psychic who is reputed to be amazing. I’ve since Googled her and found many reports claiming the same. My fear at the…

Blip

I woke up missing Phil, but that changed shortly afterwards to doubts. I don’t know why they’ve started up again. I’m questioning once again if what I feel for Phil is enough. I’m reminding myself how the issues I had before living with Danny, Greg and Tom remained afterwards, and became major issues which ultimately…

Plodding

I feel like I’m in limbo; maybe I’ve felt that way for the last few years. When I think back over my diary entries, all I see is a mundane life, and that saddens me a little. I have no tales of wild adventures, travelling, or meeting new and interesting people. My life consists of…

Monopolised

Tom joined us for a barbecue today. Later, my dad popped round for a visit. Dad didn’t ask where the kids were – in their rooms – and he didn’t even attempt to say hello to them when they came downstairs shortly afterwards. Tom offered him food from the barbecue and then sat with us…

Fraction

I met my friend Patsy today. She was talking about her exes, and then she asked about Tom and why we split up. I told her briefly about how difficult things got. She said he seemed like a really nice, kind man. I said he was, that he had a heart of gold, but that…

Surface

I don’t think Phil is genuine, not the way I once did. More and more, it feels as though he’s created a version of himself that he thinks I want, and every now and then, the real him slips through. Those moments make me question everything. A friend messaged me tonight to ask how I…

Adventure

Annie went to Tom’s house for a few hours today. When I picked her up and asked if she’d had a nice day, she said that she’d been on an adventure.

Involved

It was our first Christmas in our new home yesterday. Tom came to stay on Christmas Eve to spend Christmas with the children. He’s still here.  At least when he’s here, I know he’s safe. I never spoke to him about us getting back together, but I have made sure he’s been much more involved…

Scared

I am scared. I went on quite a journey before I realised just how scared I am. It started by looking at some self-portraits by a photographer whose work I admire, seeing how beautiful and sexy she is. Remembering how sexy I used to feel, such a long time ago. Going to my bedroom and realising what…

Oppression

Dreaming I am in the dining area of the kitchen of the house at Church Lane. Dad is sitting at the dining table, and Mum is in the kitchen area. The room is unbearably hot, with steam swarming around the room making it difficult to see clearly. I can see enough to see that the house hasn’t changed at all over the last twenty years. Unable to stand the heat any longer, I open the window, releasing a torrent of steam. I watch relief wash over Mum, and then…

Forward

We were supposed to be clearing the garden today, ready for new turf. It’s a big garden with lots of crap dumped in it, so it was a whole day’s work. I went outside with Annie and started to tidy while Tom sat doing nothing except scrolling through Facebook. Eventually, after I’d dug up and…

Question

The counselling is really making me look at and question every aspect of my life. It’s forcing me to delve deeper than I’ve ever gone before into all areas. Today it was money, namely Tom’s money. I don’t feel that I’m entitled to it, that it’s wrong for me to ask. And then there’s my…

Strength

My sisters are all very different, yet all have a similar streak. Control. They all control the people in their lives or their environment. Do I control? My children? No. I’m very easy-going with them. Men. No. They have controlled me. Housework. No. It always feels out of my control. I do control myself, and…

Consequence

Dreaming Tom and I are arguing; I feel really angry and frustrated with him. I get two knives out of the kitchen drawer and go into the dining room with them, but I no longer feel angry. I go into the kitchen to find Tom standing with his back to me by one of the sides. I go behind him and jokingly run the big knife along the top of his shoulder muscle. It splits right open, and he starts to bleed badly. I look at the wound; it is massive, and I realise it…

Potential

New beginnings come in all shapes and sizes. Today not only heralds the start of a new year but also the potential for a whole new state of existence. I have done all that I can to hold Tom and I together. I’ve tried my hardest to fix an impossible situation, and I’m at a…

How?

Looking back, I can see that I’ve always put everyone else’s needs before my own. I always thought that was what made me a good mum, partner, sister, daughter and friend, but I’m starting to feel like a complete fool.

Heavier

Why won’t Tom ever have sex with me? Am I that ugly? Is my body really that disgusting to look at? Is it because I’ve had four children and my stomach isn’t flat, or because my breasts have been full of milk for the last two years? I know I’m a bit heavier than when…

Fraud

I have just attended a group for domestic abuse, and it was awful. I went along as I’ve wondered for a long time if Tom might be abusive, but I also wonder if I have mental health issues that make me paranoid and think that he’s abusive. I was hoping that by going along to…

Cold

I’m so angry with myself. Annie had me up so much on Sunday night, and last night even more so. I felt as if I had about two hours of sleep all night, so today I’ve been exhausted. At half past eight tonight, I told Tom I was going up to bed. I got my…

Doctor

I don’t feel well. I’m not physically ill, but I think I might be mentally ill. I sit here constantly questioning if Tom is right and if there is something wrong with me; he’s always telling me that there is, maybe he’s right. Sometimes I think that it’s him, but most of the time, I…

Hours

Tom went to Twickenham yesterday to watch the rugby. He left home at 10 am and didn’t come back till 1 this morning, and yet he’s just left to go to the pub for the evening. He’ll be gone for seven hours. Why? Why can’t he ever stay in and spend some time with me,…

Different

 It’s been another weekend of ups and downs. Yesterday, I woke feeling really strong and positive. I decided I wasn’t taking his crap any longer and never again would I ask him for money. When I needed to go and get some shopping, I just said, “Where’s the bank card? I’m going to get food.”…