Caring

Friend

On the first day of the year, for one of my answers in a family questionnaire, I wrote that Phil was my best friend. Sitting here now, thinking about our relationship, the one that has evolved in recent months, I realise that’s not true at all. Phil was my best friend when we were in…

Pros

I never thought I’d find myself in a situation like this. It seems that I have four men interested in me. This didn’t happen in my teens, my twenties or my thirties, but it appears it’s happening now unless I’m reading all the signs wrong. Tom seems to be really affectionate and nice to me…

Company

I’ve spent the last couple of weeks thinking I wanted a relationship with Tom again. I know deep down that I don’t. Having spent a bit more time than usual with him this week, with the kids being home, I can see that he’s exactly the man he was, the man I left. He’s still…

Foundation

I spent some time reading diaries I’d written so long ago when Josh was born, and I realised what a good mum I was. Considering I was only seventeen when I had him, and given how difficult the circumstances were with my mum and dad, then later with Danny, and being a single parent, I did…

Crutch

Phil and I went out for dinner last night and then went back to his for some drinks. I stayed over, lay in his arms, and he held me tight as I poured out my heart to him about the last few days and everything that’s gone on lately. He soothed my soul and gently…

Meals

I slept really badly – my mind was nagging at me throughout the night. It all seemed to stem from the most innocent of conversations with Phil about the meals he eats; microwave meals most of the time, as he sees no point in cooking just for himself and is too tired to prepare and…

Held

I met up with Phil last night, totally spontaneously. I was at home and child-free. I was drinking wine when I decided to get a taxi and go see him.

Quietly

If this ‘thing’ with Craig goes no further than it is right now, if we only ever stay friends, or if we drift apart and never speak again, I will always be so grateful that I met someone that I feel as if I slotted so into place with. I can’t even begin to describe…

Perform

Dreaming I am in a shop when I see Maria from a well known girl group; her name is Natalie, and she is working there. I speak to her and notice how different she looks; she is covered in spots all around her hairline. I like that she is completely normal, like everyone else. She is about to perform and goes to get ready. The next time I see her, she looks…

Tread

Dreaming There are many people in my home, including lots of children staying over in my bed. I am looking after them all. Josh has a friend over; I want my space back, although I enjoy having them there. Sandra is there; I know this as Sandra from thirty years ago, younger looking and with her old hairstyle. She can’t find one of her socks, so she puts on one of Ralph’s, even though it is very precious to him and he won’t want her…

Tangled

A few weeks ago, when I was right in the midst of terror and crisis, I got back in touch with my old psychotherapist, whom I first started seeing when I needed the support to be able to leave Tom. I’ve had a few sessions with him recently, but after today’s session, I realised something….

Warning

Dreaming I am driving in my car when warning lights come on, and the car starts to break down. I’m going quite fast at the time and have to pull over to safety. I think I am on the motorway. I pull over and put my hazard lights on. A car comes up behind me,…

Change

Susie called me a bitch, and I have to agree with her. She was talking about how people change, and she said that I’ve changed so much over the last couple of years. She said I’ve gone from being really fun, outgoing, easygoing, funny, not caring what anyone thought in a carefree kind of way,…

Fever

I have mastitis, and I feel awful with a fever and lethargy. Tom has been so good to me all day. He stayed home from work, took the older girls to school and cared for Annie all day. He made me a bed on the sofa with a duvet and pillows, and told me to…

Engaging

We took the girls on a day out today. Tom spent the whole day engaging the older girls in the activities and caring for Annie, so that I could spend some quality time with the other children. It was such a lovely day – made even better when Annie giggled for the first time. It…

Tag: Caring