Weight

I received a letter this morning informing me that the government’s recently announced changes are starting to take effect, which means that a benefit I receive for the children will be cut by £10 per week. This means I now need to find an extra £40 per month. I’m almost sure that if I were…

Tangled

A few weeks ago, when I was right in the midst of terror and crisis, I got back in touch with my old psychotherapist, whom I first started seeing when I needed the support to be able to leave Tom. I’ve had a few sessions with him recently, but after today’s session, I realised something….

Strength

My sisters are all very different, yet all have a similar streak. Control. They all control the people in their lives or their environment. Do I control? My children? No. I’m very easy-going with them. Men. No. They have controlled me. Housework. No. It always feels out of my control. I do control myself, and…

Reaquainting

There are many things that people might think are the worst things about the kind of relationship I’m in. Maybe they think it’s the shouting and screaming, or they may believe it’s the actual words that get said. They may see it as the manipulation that’s the hardest thing to bear, or the constant worry…

Doubt

Despite what the counsellor said about me being negative, I’m starting to have doubts. I think she was wrong. Maybe I am negative, but Tom isn’t innocent in all of this; in fact, I’m starting to wonder if I might be in a verbally and emotionally abusive and controlling relationship. I’m also wondering if my…

Rollercoaster

Just as I was starting to really believe things were changing, I’m now worrying that things with Tom are slipping again. Tonight, I popped out for an hour to take Josh to his judo class. When I got back, I wanted to have a little bit of time to unwind, but then Annie woke up….