There are many things that people might think are the worst things about the kind of relationship I’m in.

Maybe they think it’s the shouting and screaming, or they may believe it’s the actual words that get said. They may see it as the manipulation that’s the hardest thing to bear, or the constant worry that the verbal and emotional abuse could become violent. They might even think that the worst thing is the fear that no one would ever believe that this man – this funny, warm, kind man they all see – can actually be controlling and abusive.

None of those things is the worst thing for me.

The very worst thing for me in being in an abusive, controlling and manipulative relationship is losing my identity. I no longer know who I am. I got lost somewhere along the way.

Today I decided to reacquaint myself with myself, or at least as much as I can remember about me. It’s somewhere to start in finding myself once more.