Learning

Self-contained

More and more I’m starting to realise that I’m a selfish person, but the realisation isn’t actually bothering me. There was a time when this would have really upset me; I’d have denied it and done anything I could to prove myself to be selfless, but now I just don’t really mind or care. Is…

Balanced

2013 was one of my most challenging years to date, with Rosie’s operation, her extended and very worrying time in intensive care and her month-long recovery, followed soon after by Amelia being diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue and spending what seemed like half the year sleeping. That has put added pressure on her at school in…

Centred

Phil texted me tonight. He said he’d realised that the last two years he’d been entirely selfless, that he gave nothing but love and that what he had back from me was nothing but selfishness. He said he no longer trusted me, and that I had hurt him so deeply over the last two years….

Decade

It’s my fortieth birthday soon, and I’ve been thinking about it a lot this year. I started the year not really looking forward to it and berating myself for not being the weight I promised myself I would be by the time I turned forty. I had some fears come up about life passing me…

Receive

It turns out that letting go – when you make up your mind to do it and then just get on with it – is easier than first anticipated. Today I got rid of a load of stuff. I had people knocking at the door throughout the day to pick stuff up, and it actually…

Hug

On Friday night, I dropped and broke my phone. When I dropped Annie at Tom’s last night, he handed me a present, saying it was an early birthday present. He’d got me a new phone. After handing it to me, he went to walk off into the other room, but I called him back to…

Alone

Last week, a friend posted on Facebook directly after I posted about having a takeaway. It really offended and upset me. I’ve tried to rise above it and ignore it, but today I figured that if it’s still bothering me after five days, I should say something. I remembered one of the Five Regrets of…

Coaching

After a year of deliberation and just not really knowing what I should do with my life or even what I want to do, I’m so glad that I’ve finally decided to train as a life coach. I want a career that enables me to: I’ve spent the last couple of weeks looking into courses….

Kind

I took a moment today to completely focus on Phil’s many positive attributes with no thoughts of the things that are marring our relationship, at least for me. I’m nowhere near the stage of moving in together or marriage, but I do want to continue a relationship with him, and I do want to focus…

Good

While talking to my Mum, she said she’d realised something in the early hours of this morning. That the three significant relationships I’d had in my life, their combined surname initials spelt out BAD. I wouldn’t say that any of the three had been bad people per se, but each one had been bad for…

Time

It’s New Year’s Eve. Tom was supposed to be staying the night to see the New Year in with me and the children, but instead he’s at his house, and I’m at mine, and it’s because I chose it. I decided that, and I made it happen. I remember someone saying to me once, “Who…

Stumble

While carrying Annie’s toys up the stairs today, I tripped. I managed to regain my balance, and then I tripped again, landing flat on my face, nose first into the carpet. I lay face down on the stairs, toys bouncing back down to the bottom, and I laughed. I laughed until the pain in my…