I’ve always regarded myself as a homebody, someone who is happiest to be at home, doing my own thing and finding pleasure in pottering around the house, finding little things to do. I can’t deny it hasn’t brought me a lot of pleasure over the years, but today I feel something different, and it feels…
Tag: Izzy
2014
It’s the first day of 2014 and I feel really positive, content and happy. The children and I spent the morning preparing for our ‘Open House.’ I decided a couple of weeks ago that I would invite friends and family to come round any time of the day, spend time together, share food and start…
Balanced
2013 was one of my most challenging years to date, with Rosie’s operation, her extended and very worrying time in intensive care and her month-long recovery, followed soon after by Amelia being diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue and spending what seemed like half the year sleeping. That has put added pressure on her at school in…
Mojo
I’ve lost my mojo. I’ve spent the past few days searching everywhere I can think of, but it’s nowhere to be found. I suppose when some of your last blog posts are called Unravelling, Survive, and Alone, it’s inevitable that the next one in the sequence will be about lost mojos. Maybe I need to retrace…
Deep
When I have a counselling session that goes quite deep, it can leave me feeling a little bit like I’m in shock for a day or two afterwards. It leaves me drained and exhausted.
Adjust
Dreaming I am in Izzy and Susie’s bedroom at Church Lane. I open the window, but it doesn’t sit properly, so I pull it back in to adjust it. As I do so, the whole window, frame and glass falls out and lands on the bush dividing our house from next door. I am in the kitchen of Church Lane. John is there; he says something about it being different. I look around and see that everything is completely different. The way…
Odd
Dreaming Julie is staying at my house because no one else wants her anymore. She is upstairs and has taken a hose from the bathroom, turned it on and soaked one of the bedroom carpets. There is water everywhere. I am so angry, and I don’t want her anymore now either. All of my family are sitting in a big circle. Tom, Izzy, my nieces and nephews, my children, everyone. Josh is feeling a bit scared and vulnerable; he is naked. He wants to sit on my lap. I think it’s a bit odd, but…
Lounge
Dreaming I am at what looks like an airport lounge, but for a ferry, to go to the Puu Isles. I’m not going to Vama or Cahat but somewhere in between. I am in the queue with my passport. There are two young girls in front, but they slow down and then stop, so I pass them and take my turn. I have to fill out a couple of forms and show my passport. Josh then comes up and does his,…
Weight
I received a letter this morning informing me that the government’s recently announced changes are starting to take effect, which means that a benefit I receive for the children will be cut by £10 per week. This means I now need to find an extra £40 per month. I’m almost sure that if I were…
Distracted
Dreaming I am in a house. It either is or will be my new home. It is down Castle Street, and as I look out of the window, I see that Izzy lives opposite. This concerns me as I realise Ricky will be knocking on the door constantly. I look around the house; it is very much like Ian’s house but much bigger. The house is fairly messy; I want to tidy and have a lovely house ready to live in….
Covered
Dreaming I am on Montague Lane with Izzy. I am pregnant. Izzy has a baby that is 18 weeks old; I am 18 weeks pregnant. Izzy’s baby was born three days before I conceived. I am wearing a skirt; suddenly it falls down. I have no knickers on, but I am wearing a white t-shirt that is just long enough to cover my bum if I hold it. I hold it down to cover myself up but then can’t be bothered anymore so I let go and take a chance. It remains down enough to cover me, although I…
Due
Izzy and Susie popped around today. When they left, they did something that really upset me. I was standing outside on the doorstep saying goodbye to them when Susie said in a loud voice, “Look at the state of your eyebrows. When did you last have them plucked? They look a right mess.” I was…
Family
Dreaming I am at a family get-together; it is summer, and the feeling is very relaxed. I am inside taking photographs. I decide to take some of the people outside as the light would produce a better photo. Outside are Grandad, Justin, Dean, and some others. I sit on a picnic bench next to Justin. Ants are…
Beg
I am such a fool. I thought Tom was changing; I was wrong – he hasn’t changed at all. I feel sad so much of the time. The health visitor thinks I may have postnatal depression. Tom said, “You’re not depressed; if anyone is depressed around here it’s me, you’re just putting it on.“ Annie…