Wait

Epiphany

I booked tickets to take the children to the Harry Potter Studio Tour for Rosie’s upcoming birthday. Annie and I haven’t even seen the films, so tonight we started with the first one. Of course, I can’t just watch and enjoy; I had to start thinking, philosophising and questioning. I think my philosophical nature is…

Comfort

Dreaming I am in Jellicombe when I see Karen; she looks a mess. She is fatter; her hair is wet, but a mess, and she is tired and crying. I ask what’s wrong, and she says she’s been up with Charlie all night and that he’s really wheezy. She has Charlie in a pram; I…

Spacious

Dreaming Amelia, Rosie, Megan and I are in the kitchen at Church Lane when the door knocks. Amelia goes to answer it but comes back saying she’s not answering it as she doesn’t know who it is. I get up to answer it, and I run, as the people will have been waiting by now….

Bittersweet

My Dad rang this morning; he said he wanted to see how I was, as I’d been on his mind the last few days. He wondered if everything was okay. The cynical part of me thinks he saw something that I posted on Facebook last night, and he’s turning it around so it seems that…

Wallet

Dreaming I am in Springtown in a house that feels quite grand. I am standing in a large room; it feels like an entryway as well as a room. There is someone with me, and to my left, in another room, is Theo. He and I are going on a date. I am at a…

Effort

Dreaming I am getting ready for an event – maybe a party or a dinner – in London. I put on a satin green dress. My body is slim, and I look really good. I’m wondering what I could wear with it to keep me warm; I don’t think I have anything suitable, but I…

Grandad

Dreaming I am in a fancy dress shop. I’m trying to remember what it is I need to buy a costume for. The person I am with tells me I need a grass skirt for Patsy’s party, but I say I need something else as well. I can’t remember what. I am in a school playground with Annie and her friends; Annie looks really ill. She has really heavy, red eyes and a rash on her face. I feel her head; she is roasting hot. I talk to Mrs Jeffery and tell her I think Annie is ill. She goes…

Clone

This is it. This is the point in my life where I either change or I become a clone of my mother. The promise I made to myself as a teenager to never turn out like my mum is happening anyway. The woman who moans and complains constantly that life is terrible, that it’s boring,…

Floor

I always knew that this was going to be a really difficult week or two, but I underestimated just how hard it would be. The list of jobs I still have to get through is vast, and still growing. Today, all I managed to do was the food shopping and buy the bits I need…

Presence

Dreaming I am a pupil at school. Even though I am an adult, I am hoping that I won’t feel overwhelmed like I did when I was at school as a child. I am outside; it is break time. There is a male teacher with grey hair whom I feel a great attraction to. It’s not sexual; it is a deep spiritual love, although my need to physically be with him is vast. I am at his side constantly, there to help him if he wants it….

Greasy

Dreaming I am with my family on an outing; I need to go back to the house for something. While I am there, Josh, Zac and Connor come back home from a camping trip. They all want to come with me to the family picnic, but they all need showers. I notice Connor’s hair is really greasy and know he won’t want to be seen like that. I tell them to…

Lounge

Dreaming I am at what looks like an airport lounge, but for a ferry, to go to the Puu Isles. I’m not going to Vama or Cahat but somewhere in between. I am in the queue with my passport. There are two young girls in front, but they slow down and then stop, so I pass them and take my turn. I have to fill out a couple of forms and show my passport. Josh then comes up and does his,…

Dealbreaker

Dreaming I am going out for lunch with Craig. He pulls up in his car, and I am in mine, but kind of in his too. I have all the children with me. I hadn’t told him they were all coming along. Craig pulls up the back window, and I can’t see behind me anymore. We are parked in the car park of the Carvery in Northbridge. I wonder if our cars are blocking the way for others, but no one…

Attachments

It’s so strange how things creep up and take me by surprise when I least expect them. Annie is staying over at Tom’s tonight for the first time. It’s also the first time she’s ever slept away from me; we’ve shared our lives almost 100% for the last four years, and shared our bed for…

Self-Conscious

Dreaming I’m at home; Josh comes home feeling happy. Tom goes up to his bedroom; I can hear him shouting at Josh. I go to Josh, and Tom leaves; Josh is hurt and upset. I ask Josh what it was about; he said he was at Danny’s, needed a poo, chose the toilet that had no door and was open for all to see, and that a woman had come along and seen him. She had reported back to everyone else, and Josh thought it was funny. I’m at a hospital in the waiting room with Susie,…

Contented

Dreaming Tom and I have had a lovely time together and are very much in love. We’ve decided, as it’s Saturday, to spend the day together. Annie isn’t around, and it seems this is based in the past.We are at Tom’s house. I am getting some stuff for him to come to mine; he has gone to Birchside to drop something off or pick up, possibly at my mum’s house. I feel very happy, content and at peace. I get what…

List

I decided to make a list tonight of all the reasons I will never get back together with Tom. I went through my diaries, listing everything out, and as I read through everything, more and more memories came back to the surface – things I had never written about but were obviously hurtful enough for…

Celebration

Dreaming I am in a public area when my phone rings really loudly in a tone that I don’t recognise; I quiet the phone. I am sitting on a pew in an outside church. I am on the left side with Belinda and Janet on my right. There are two rows of people in front…

Covered

Dreaming I am on Montague Lane with Izzy. I am pregnant. Izzy has a baby that is 18 weeks old; I am 18 weeks pregnant. Izzy’s baby was born three days before I conceived. I am wearing a skirt; suddenly it falls down. I have no knickers on, but I am wearing a white t-shirt that is just long enough to cover my bum if I hold it. I hold it down to cover myself up but then can’t be bothered anymore so I let go and take a chance. It remains down enough to cover me, although I…

Love

I was sitting out in the garden, sanding some furniture earlier when I looked up and caught Tom watching me. When I turned off the sander, he said, “I love you.” I almost cried. This is the first time in so long – years – that he has told me that he loves me. I…

Emanating

Dreaming I am queuing in a shop waiting to pay. The female shop assistant realises that a man is stealing wine; he is just around the corner of the shop and not visible from where I am standing. Another female shop assistant is standing near him and can see what he is doing. She tells…

Trick

Dreaming

Wipe

Dreaming I am sitting in a chair with a door ahead of me. Tom is slightly in front, on the right, sitting on a toilet. Once he’s finished, he wipes his shit on my face. Responding The dream’s meaning seems so obvious. I’m being passive in this situation with Tom, and because of my passivity and lack of action, Tom is literally able to put all of his ‘shit’ onto me. Shit…

Holiday

We’ve just returned from a visit to Tom’s family, and I hated every minute of it.

Wisdom

Dreaming I am in the living room. I pull up an area of the carpet to reveal a beautiful wooden floor. I say to Tom that we should pull it all up, as we now have the floor we want. As I look closer, I can see there are actually more layers of carpet to…

Win

I recently heard about a deal with some online bingo sites. I don’t play bingo, nor do I gamble – even if I wanted to, I don’t have the money. Several bingo websites had a deal to deposit £10 and get an extra £20 free play. You could only do it once per site, but…

Family

Dreaming I am at a family get-together; it is summer, and the feeling is very relaxed. I am inside taking photographs. I decide to take some of the people outside as the light would produce a better photo. Outside are Grandad, Justin, Dean, and some others. I sit on a picnic bench next to Justin. Ants are…

Enemy

Tom’s family flew in for the weekend on Friday. I hated having to share Annie with the people that – in my head at least – are such a threat to Annie and I. I just wanted to get in bed and snuggle with her instead of having to share her with the enemy. Tom…

Waiting

For the third time this week, Tom is at the pub twenty miles away. He left home just before 5pm. He planned on coming back sometime after midnight. Usually, he’ll come home on the last train, stumble through the door, pour himself a glass of wine, maybe a second, before staggering up to bed and…

Captain

Dreaming I am looking out of a window at the sea; it is choppy. I watch a ferry in the distance; it keeps disappearing beneath the waves. There is a van on the stones; it rolls onto its roof. The ferry comes in closer, and I can see the captain and crew. They all look…

Cinderella

Dreaming I am living with my mum and dad. I am angry because I do all of the childcare and housework. My children are their children. Mum and Dad sit around doing nothing while I do everything. The door knocks; a man is there, a salesman. I ignore it and get Dad to answer it….

Extravagant

Dreaming I put my hand into a tray of crystals. I pull out a green jewel-like one, but stuck to it, like a magnet, is a yellow one, and I hear someone say, “Yellow Citrine.” I am talking to a man; he tells me he really likes Susie, but can’t have a relationship with her…

Rise

Dreaming I am inside a lift; there are seven floors. The lift is completely made of glass, so I can see everything around, under and above me. I rise to the 5th floor. I am looking down and waiting to see myself performing in a concert where I will be singing.

Mud

Dreaming Izzy is pregnant; she is insisting that we take her to the hospital as she wants to give birth. I keep saying to her that it isn’t time yet, as she isn’t having contractions and her waters haven’t broken yet, but she still insists. Izzy becomes Josh and says, “Actually, my waters have broken.”…

Patience

Dreaming There is a very long queue of cars and lorries waiting to get petrol. Two hundred people are waiting, all getting irate. I walk past them all, through a car park, and ask for the angels to give them patience and love, and to help them feel calm. It happens instantly. I look around…

Josh

Dreaming I am in a large department store with Josh. I see Fern and ask her if she is pregnant; she is, and she shows me her tummy. I show her mine because I’m pregnant too. I hear Bridget call me; she’s pregnant too. I ask Fern how long she has left; she says two weeks, but…