Dreaming

I am in a fairly big tent; I live there with Tom & the children. It is the morning; I look outside. In the sky, I see a plane. I know that it is going to drop a bomb; I watch it, scared that it will drop over us. Suddenly the bomb drops, falling onto the city just north of us. I am scared that it will drop more, though. I think of all the lives that have been lost under the bomb and feel sad. I go and gather up Annie – if we’re going to die, I want us to die together. I am aware that I’m not doing this with the other children, but I sense they will be ok.

We go into a house, waiting for the next bomb to fall. It is a nerve-wracking time and would almost be better if it did happen to get it over and done with. I am standing at the front door; next door, to my right, are two men; they are estate agents. One is wearing purple patterned trousers and a glittery purple blazer; he looks ridiculous, and I make a comment about him wanting to be famous or in the limelight or something similar. He doesn’t take offence at all, as it is true. He and the other man go into the house; I then notice the second estate agent is also wearing similar clothes. Uncle Ian and Dean are at my door now; I wonder if it was their area that got hit, but they say they are all fine and it was further north. Dean looks really well. I go indoors with Ian to get some things I need; I have to go into town to pay somebody £8000. I am aware of Tom being around, but he doesn’t play a big part at all.

I am walking in a town when I spot Gemma; she is about to meet Paul. Paul is lying on his stomach. I go and lie on his back just as Gemma says hello to him. He looks at me to see who I am, but it takes him a while to recognise me. I realise I must have changed, although I thought I looked the same. There are loads of my old school friends in town together; we’re all greeting each other, although I feel a bit of an outsider. I chat to a few people but mainly Gemma and show them some of my photographs. It is time I got going; I don’t feel very welcome anyway, especially with Paul. I get up to go to the place where I have to pay the money, when I realise I have it all in my hands for everyone to see – thousands of pounds. I try to conceal it, but it is slipping out of my hands. I walk over to Mitch and ask him to help me. He uses his jacket to hide me while I try to gather up all the money. It is then that I realise that the money is actually business cards and no one will want to try and steal them anyway, so it’s all ok.