Dreaming Amelia has had a baby, and Rosie is babysitting for her. I am unsure of the gender of the baby, but it feels more like a girl. Rosie is sitting in the bath with the baby; I am sitting outside of the bath, half-watching. Rosie gets distracted using her phone for what seems like…
Tag: Death
Live
Two days ago, not long after waking, I lay in bed daydreaming about something or other when, suddenly, as clear as day, the words ‘Less than a year to live’ popped into my head. Two days later, I find myself thinking about how we would live our lives differently if we always knew how many…
Balanced
2013 was one of my most challenging years to date, with Rosie’s operation, her extended and very worrying time in intensive care and her month-long recovery, followed soon after by Amelia being diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue and spending what seemed like half the year sleeping. That has put added pressure on her at school in…
Half
If ever I needed an answer to my many questions, it is now. If ever there is such a thing as Divine Timing, it is in this moment. My dilemma with Phil. My challenging year. My stresses and my ever-changing mind. Last night on Facebook, Theo popped up. It’s not the first time this has…
Glazed
Dreaming There is a baby; all of the doctors and medical staff have given it up for dead. It looks dead; its eyes are open but glazed, and it has a deathly pallor to it. I pick up the baby and hold it. I can feel a flicker of life in it. I tell all the medical staff, but they’re uninterested. The more time I spend with the baby, the more alive it becomes, but nobody notices. Even when the baby is moving, smiling, totally animated, still no one shows any interest and just keeps telling me it is dead. I know they are wrong, and…
Cousin
Dreaming I am in the living room. There are balls of wool unravelled by my feet, all different colours, some wrapped around my ankles. I think the kids have been playing with them, but there is wool everywhere. The doorbell rings; I am concerned as I don’t want anyone to come round and see the mess everywhere. I answer the door to find my cousin standing there. I keep looking back to make sure Jasper isn’t about to run out; I keep the door just slightly ajar. I…
Food
Dreaming I am in Maxine’s home, but sometimes she is Louise and my nan’s energy. Ivy is in her bedroom. Maxine is cooking food; I sit on her sofa. I see Ivy on the toilet; she hides my view with a bird cage. A cat goes in my bag and takes a bite out of a packet of cheese I have in there; I give it the rest to finish. I leave Maxine’s house without the food that I think she is making for me. I step outside and see a man,…
Deluge
For far too long I’ve felt like surrendering to my pain and allowing myself to drop deeper into the black hole that has become my life for the last eleven months. Instead, I went to see the doctor two weeks ago. She said I was depressed, that the last few years have caught up with me and…
Sensation
Dreaming I am on holiday alone but am in someone’s suite in the guest house I’m staying at. There are two people here who are going to kill a man. They intend to kill him by electrocuting him in the bath, but first they want to knock him out to get him in the bath. They do something to him, which means he’s dead by the time they get him in the bath, and so they won’t have to electrocute him, but they do it…
Pretend
Dreaming I am a man. My neighbour Yvonne has some kind of involvement with me, and her husband Simon doesn’t like it; he instructs her to kill me. Yvonne runs the knife down my cheek, and I pretend to die. Yvonne takes my red basque, but I plead with her not to. My fake death lasts for days, with me lying on a seat of a car and the husband checking on me every now and then. There seems to be a shop in the background. Yvonne cries. Eventually, she challenges Simon while in the morgue and informs him that I’m not really dead, and either he marries her…
Notes
It’s been two weeks since Maxine died. My devastation is beyond anything I’ve felt before. It has shaken me to my absolute core. I seem to be spending too much time in bed – feeling scared, more than anything else. Maxine was a light that shone so brightly. She lit up the room when she walked…
Surrounded
I started tracing my family tree two years ago. At a time when my world felt like it was falling apart, it saved me in some way. It gave me something to focus on each night instead of thinking about how lonely I felt. I’d spend hour upon hour replacing the emptiness in my soul…
Unwelcome
Dreaming I am in a fairly big tent; I live there with Tom & the children. It is the morning; I look outside. In the sky, I see a plane. I know that it is going to drop a bomb; I watch it, scared that it will drop over us. Suddenly the bomb drops, falling onto the city just north of us. I am scared that it will drop more, though. I think of all the lives that have been lost under the bomb and feel sad. I go and gather up Annie…
Money
Dreaming My Dad has died and left me nothing. I am at his house searching for his money. I know he has left it somewhere. I search everywhere, but I can’t find it. I remember the secret part of the house that no one but me knows about. I am certain he would have put it there. It is at the back of the house and through a door that nobody else goes into. I have been in this secret part before in another dream;…
Celebration
Dreaming I am in a public area when my phone rings really loudly in a tone that I don’t recognise; I quiet the phone. I am sitting on a pew in an outside church. I am on the left side with Belinda and Janet on my right. There are two rows of people in front…
Consequence
Dreaming Tom and I are arguing; I feel really angry and frustrated with him. I get two knives out of the kitchen drawer and go into the dining room with them, but I no longer feel angry. I go into the kitchen to find Tom standing with his back to me by one of the sides. I go behind him and jokingly run the big knife along the top of his shoulder muscle. It splits right open, and he starts to bleed badly. I look at the wound; it is massive, and I realise it…
Natural
Dreaming I am in a garden, possibly at the house at Church Lane. At the bottom of the garden are two rabbits kept in a plastic container/box. The rabbits are dying. I bring them outside onto a grassy hill area to die in natural surroundings, thinking it will be nicer/better for them. There is quite…
Family
Dreaming I am at a family get-together; it is summer, and the feeling is very relaxed. I am inside taking photographs. I decide to take some of the people outside as the light would produce a better photo. Outside are Grandad, Justin, Dean, and some others. I sit on a picnic bench next to Justin. Ants are…
Always
My Dad rang this morning to tell me that my aunt has died unexpectedly. I got off the phone and, through tears, told Tom what had happened, but I had interrupted him while he was listening to records. He started shouting at me for annoying him, and said it’s always my fault that he’s annoyed….
Mission
Dreaming I am in Ashcombe; there is a feeling of a disaster has taken place and a rescue mission happening. A car has crashed through some railings and gone into the water. There is a rocket that is about to take off; my children all get on board, but I am scared that it will crash the same as the car. I don’t want any of us to have to get on, but we don’t seem to have a choice. I climb on…