Dreaming

I am on my way to Springtown. I’m in the water, which is a beautiful shade of blue. It is a warm summer’s day; there is a good feeling everywhere, and people are laughing and having fun. I have a young child, maybe Annie, relying on me to help her. I take her in my arms and start swimming easily. I am a good, strong swimmer and can very easily cope with holding a child. Ahead of us are lots of inflatable slides and people using them; it’s kind of like a water park but with a nice, friendly atmosphere, not commercial. Everyone seems to be friends with everyone else.

I arrive at a fairly tall but wide wooden door and go inside. The building I am in is kind of a lighthouse but is also a proper home. Jodie is there; it is her home. She gets down on her knees, produces a box with a ring in it and asks me to marry her. I am aware that I am thinking that I really don’t want to, that I don’t love her, that I’m not into her type at all (women), but I find myself saying yes. I tell myself that I will end it in a few months. My inability to say no to something that just isn’t right for me is profound.

I head outside to the water again; there is a woman there who asks for my ticket. I realise I have to show my ticket every time I want to come out; I think I’ll be showing it a lot as I expect to be in and out a great deal. I can’t find my ticket in my purse and am concerned that I’ve lost it, but then remember it’s in my pocket. She laughs and says she remembers me putting it there last time. I go out feeling a little odd that I’m now engaged to Jodie.

I am in a car with Joanne; she is driving me to the lighthouse. We are in London, and somehow she knows exactly how to get to where we’re going, and yet I needed to use my satnav. I think she must have been here before. We are driving along and can see the lighthouse in the middle of the water, but it looks more like a water fort now, shorter. We also see that there’s an entire village around the lighthouse. I know Katie lives in some part of the lighthouse, and I want to get there.

I am in the lighthouse; it has six bedrooms. An estate agent is showing me that the bedroom at the top has two single beds in it and is pink. Katie mainly lives in the bottom section of the lighthouse. I think it must get pretty lonely living here and quite boring. The room at the back of the lighthouse is the one Katie uses the most; it’s calm and relaxing, and you can hear the sea lapping against the walls. I think to myself that when it’s stormy outside, it must be really lovely and cosy to be sitting in this room. I wonder if I would get really bored living here with nowhere to go, but then I see Katie step out into a large, beautiful garden. She is being interviewed for television; she is pregnant, and I can see that having a garden would make life so much more pleasurable, and it would be lovely to live here. Katie is much more beautiful in real life than how I’ve seen her online and how I imagine her to be.

I am walking along a cobbled street. A man comes up behind me (this man sort of looks like Tom but has the feel of deep, respectful, kind love more than he has a look) and places his hand on the top of my breast. I know he loves me. We walk along, and there is a silent agreement that we are together in love; no words are really needed. We love each other deeply.

We go into a building which has wooden floors and three glass boxes as you would see at a fair. The one on the left has a man eating chips in it; the one in the middle is empty, and the one on the right,  Paddy from Big Brother, got inside and is saying something I can’t understand. Tom talks too, and I can hear that he sounds the same as Paddy; their accents are similar.