Reaquainting

There are many things that people might think are the worst things about the kind of relationship I’m in. Maybe they think it’s the shouting and screaming, or they may believe it’s the actual words that get said. They may see it as the manipulation that’s the hardest thing to bear, or the constant worry…

Breathless

Annie has slept through the night twice since she was born; most nights she’s up at least four times between 11am – 6am. I have always been the one to deal with her; Tom never has, nor has he offered to. She’s now started getting up at 6 am every day, so as well as…

Searching

As I suspected, it didn’t last. I really tried to think positively today. To remind myself that I’ve been a single parent before and that I can do it again. That I will find a way to leave this soul-destroying relationship. I still don’t know how, but I know I have to keep searching until…

Manage

It’s Tom’s sixth day of his skiing holiday with his family. A holiday that was too expensive to take me and the children on, but not too expensive for him. I’m exhausted managing everything on my own with all four children, although it has been nice not to have any arguing or name-calling. Being alone…

Cycle

It started again this morning – the name-calling and being nasty to me. This time I snapped. I told him that I couldn’t take much more of it, that I’ve told him before that I hate it, and I asked him why – if he loves me – does he continue to do something that…