I still love Tom more than ever, and I still want a relationship with him, but I don’t really want to live with him anymore.

He’s noisy; I like quiet. We don’t have the same taste in decor, music, TV programs or anything really. While I know it sounds like we have nothing much to have a relationship for, I wouldn’t want to have a relationship with anyone else.

I’ve gone over and over the fact that I have three children from previous relationships and we have one together, and what it would do to them, but I also have to think about what we’re doing to them now. They see us arguing and bickering over the slightest thing, and that’s not healthy at all.

We are both fiercely independent. I love having my own space, as does he. I like independence, but I love sharing my life with the man I love too, but not all the time.

We’ve been looking into Living Apart Together.

I realise it could come across as being quite selfish, but if it works for all involved, would it be a problem? I’ve been doing some research, and everything I’ve found says that as long as both people agree, then it can work.

We’d both be 100% committed to each other and the children; we would share the childcare as much as we do now and actually would probably end up having more quality time together as a couple. We’re going to sit down and discuss this in detail in the next few days and see what pros and cons we come up with, and then make a decision based on our findings.

One thing we both know for certain is we cannot go on as we are; we’re both unhappy and so far away from finding a solution to the problems.