I joined a dating site last week. 

I know it’s been less than three months since Tom and I split up, and if I’m honest with myself, I don’t actually want a relationship, but I will not let what happened between us define my future. I will not allow Tom’s actions to shape my thoughts and feelings about men and about love.

I could stick to the promise that I made to myself to never risk anyone hurting me again, but then he’d have won, and all that abuse he put me through would be a wasted lesson for me.

Craig contacted me today.

He seems to be fairly normal and has recently left a relationship, so we at least have that to talk about. I decided to do something I haven’t done for over seven years. I decided to be myself. I swore, I joked, I was funny, and I really allowed the real me to come through in my messages. He loved it! He actually loved it. 

This is a huge revelation to me after so many years of hatred towards me. Craig said, “You’re great. I’ve never chatted to someone so funny.” It was like music to my ears. He likes me, for me. He doesn’t want me to change or to stop swearing or being silly; he just likes me.