I went to Phil’s today for sex, but I realised, while I was there, that it’s not actually the sex I want. It’s the support he gives me that I crave so much. Phil is the only person in my life who listens to me, accepts me as I am completely, and gives me the space to explore the workings of my mind, in practice.

I’m going to find that very hard to give up, which isn’t the slightest bit fair, because when all’s said and done, I won’t want a relationship with Phil, other than on my terms.

He knows all of this and has still agreed to continue some kind of ‘thing’ with me, but I know he’s doing it in the hope that one day we’ll be together properly.