I realised today how calm, centred, and balanced I’ve been since spending time with Phil on Sunday. I remembered that this is how I used to feel with him, at least when I wasn’t stressed.

I feel at peace, I’m more open, and I’m feeling positive. I even feel as though I could find my way career-wise. Everything just seems clearer and easier having had Phil’s love and total acceptance in my life again. I’m even noticing that I’m a better parent. I think I’m fairly good anyway, but the calmness that Phil’s love evokes in me brings me the skills I sometimes struggle with that help me to parent even more effectively. That is the greatest gift for me, and it makes me realise that all of my fears about Phil are unfounded, and that actually, him being a part of our lives would be good for every single one of us on every level.

When I think back over the last six months, I’ve been up and down, and my energy has been very scattered and erratic. Phil is so good for me on every level. A relationship with him is challenging; I won’t deny that, because I do have to work on myself to be with him, but the rewards for that hard work far outweigh everything difficult.

I’m starting to really see that with Phil in my life fully ~ living here, marriage, the whole works (if that is what we both choose), I will be a much better person for it, and I will be able to find the thing inside of me that’s bubbling under the surface. The passion, my life’s purpose, which I’m sure Phil’s love is going to reveal.

I’m really feeling grateful today for having the opportunity to have Phil back in my life again, and this time I will not be throwing it away. I’m counting my blessings and realising just how lucky I am to have met such an incredibly open, loving soul.