I went for breakfast with Karen and Cheryl today. We chatted about friends and their values, which prompted me to say that I felt I’d changed so much in the last year or so, whereas before I was really accepting, understanding and forgiving, I now am the opposite. If a friend expresses something that I…
Tag: Positivity
2014
It’s the first day of 2014 and I feel really positive, content and happy. The children and I spent the morning preparing for our ‘Open House.’ I decided a couple of weeks ago that I would invite friends and family to come round any time of the day, spend time together, share food and start…
Weakening
Phil messaged me for the first time since he ended things. I can’t help thinking he did it because he knows it’s my child-free weekend coming up and he’s hoping I’ll weaken. He sent me a picture and words he found which he thought I’d like; we both know it was an excuse. I’ve been…
Ripple
I was watching the news this morning when the reporter talked about a crash that occurred in the early hours of this morning. A man had driven into two girls aged fourteen and sixteen. The fourteen-year-old had died. The sixteen-year-old was in hospital in a critical condition. My very first thoughts were of Amelia and…
Contribute
I had a look at a forum I used to use a few years ago, and a strange feeling washed over me reading everyone’s threads. Firstly, it felt comfortable – I missed the chats I used to participate in. Secondly, reading through threads of people I used to know fairly well, I realised how much…
Tangled
A few weeks ago, when I was right in the midst of terror and crisis, I got back in touch with my old psychotherapist, whom I first started seeing when I needed the support to be able to leave Tom. I’ve had a few sessions with him recently, but after today’s session, I realised something….
Sacrifice
I meditated tonight for the first time in many years. I allowed myself to sink deeply into the meditation. At first, I saw flashes of purple and an eye. More purple followed before I felt the warm orange glow around me and my spirit guides around me. My guide, in this instance, was an old…
Searching
As I suspected, it didn’t last. I really tried to think positively today. To remind myself that I’ve been a single parent before and that I can do it again. That I will find a way to leave this soul-destroying relationship. I still don’t know how, but I know I have to keep searching until…
Shower
I’m moving out sometime in the new year, but I’m not rushing it as I want to ensure I stay in this area for the girls’ school. We both agree it’s inevitable, so why prolong it? We’ve agreed that for now we’re still a couple, but we’ll be living separately; whether we’ll continue as a…
Different
It’s been another weekend of ups and downs. Yesterday, I woke feeling really strong and positive. I decided I wasn’t taking his crap any longer and never again would I ask him for money. When I needed to go and get some shopping, I just said, “Where’s the bank card? I’m going to get food.”…