Parenting

Right

It’s been two months since we left our old life and moved into our new home. It was absolutely the right decision, and we’re all much happier. Tom has surprised me and gone back to who he used to be. He’s proving to be a good dad to Annie and to my other children, and…

Six

In six days, I get the keys to our new home. I wish I could say I’m excited, but I don’t really feel anything. This house – or at least the things that are mine – is still nowhere near packed. I’ve done most of the bedroom, half of the older girls’ stuff, the utility…

Fifteen

In fifteen days, I will leave this house and my life with Tom forever. The children and I are going to our new home, where we have choices in how it’s decorated and what we watch on TV, how I spend money and what food we eat. I also get to give Annie a bedroom…

Whisper

Tom made dinner for everyone tonight, which would be great if only he hadn’t cooked something that only he liked. We all tried to eat it, but Rosie just couldn’t. When I said I’d make her something else, Tom shouted at me to sit down and said she could either eat every single bit of…

Dismiss

My psychotherapist says that I dismiss myself. Maybe I do, but when did it start? I know that Tom dismisses me often. I’ve just told him how lonely and isolated it is being a mum; he gave me ‘the look’ and dismissed it completely. He does this a lot. He’s done this for so long…

Reaquainting

There are many things that people might think are the worst things about the kind of relationship I’m in. Maybe they think it’s the shouting and screaming, or they may believe it’s the actual words that get said. They may see it as the manipulation that’s the hardest thing to bear, or the constant worry…

Breathless

Annie has slept through the night twice since she was born; most nights she’s up at least four times between 11am – 6am. I have always been the one to deal with her; Tom never has, nor has he offered to. She’s now started getting up at 6 am every day, so as well as…

Unimportant

Tom has put the house he lived in before we moved in here together up for sale. He walked in, told me he’d had an offer, I asked how much and he said, ‘Why? What does it matter?’ I said surely as a couple that lives as husband and wife, we should talk about how…

Flap

The alarm went off at half-past six this morning. I got the older children ready for school and fed and dressed Annie. I was exhausted as I’d been up with Annie five or six times in the night again. Tom stayed in bed sleeping until just after nine o’clock when I got back from the…

Farm

Tom took the day off work, so we took Annie along to the local farm. She has developed a fear of animals lately, so she spent most of the day clinging to Tom. Seeing him so protective of her made me love him all the more. He didn’t try to persuade her that the animals…