Want

Purging

Distance

I woke feeling utterly drained. Phil had sent me a message just before I went to sleep, asking what I wanted. I want to be whole. I want to heal myself; I don’t want him to fix me anymore. I need to do this for myself. I want him to live the life he wants,…

Buried

Dreaming I am in the living room with Amelia and Rosie. I ask them to watch Annie while I go to the toilet. I go into the bathroom, sit on the toilet and have a poo. When I’m finished, I flush the toilet. Although it flushes, afterwards, the water laps over the top of the…

Want

I have never . . . but I want to:

Fuse

Dreaming I am in a house I don’t recognise, and yet it feels familiar. There is a wedding taking place, and I am to be a guest. Richard and someone else I recognise are at the bar; I pat Richard on the back. A woman has some fireworks that she is going to set off…

Hand

A couple of days ago, Tom and I walked into town for a look around the shops with Annie. We stopped for lunch and popped into the park on the way back. Tom even held my hand as we walked along. It was a gorgeous day – in many ways – not least because we…

Cinema

Tom actually agreed to go out with me tonight, just me and him. Whenever I’ve asked him before, he’s refused to go because he doesn’t want to leave Annie with babysitters or because he thinks he’d be bored with just my company. I was so excited when he agreed, and I allowed myself to imagine…

Spot

Dreaming I am on a beach; it seems to be split in two halves, but I can’t quite see how. I can, however, see that the part of the beach furthest away, to the right, the tide is out. There are people on this part that are doing something that gets my attention. I go over and see what looks like worms in the wet sand; the people are getting them out of the sand, but…

Family

Dreaming I am at a family get-together; it is summer, and the feeling is very relaxed. I am inside taking photographs. I decide to take some of the people outside as the light would produce a better photo. Outside are Grandad, Justin, Dean, and some others. I sit on a picnic bench next to Justin. Ants are…

Nearer

Dreaming I am in a garden that I recognise as being Belinda’s. While it is her garden, it is mine in some way, too. The grass is long. I enter from the back of the garden; I want to get to the front, nearer the house. I have bare feet, and as I put my foot down,…

Bones

Dreaming I am driving along Northbridge Road by the bakery, but I am going too fast. Ice appears on the road, so I slow down and turn the wheel. I am skidding, but I manage to control it. The car ends up against the pavement but facing the wrong way. I feel calm throughout. A…

Mud

Dreaming Izzy is pregnant; she is insisting that we take her to the hospital as she wants to give birth. I keep saying to her that it isn’t time yet, as she isn’t having contractions and her waters haven’t broken yet, but she still insists. Izzy becomes Josh and says, “Actually, my waters have broken.”…

Scraggly

Dreaming I am outside a school; a white van pulls up. Alison gets out and opens up the side door. Inside are five dogs; she says I can have one. I see a Great Dane and part of me wants it, but I decide against it. There is a really cute little dog; he is…