Tom seems to be in complete denial that our relationship is coming to an end, which doesn’t make a great deal of sense to me, given that he’s shown me almost nothing but hatred for so long.

Yesterday, he invited my sister and her family around for a barbecue. He got the paddling pool out for all the children to play in; he acted as if he were the best host and partner in the world. He was fun and laughing and joking, tending to everyone’s needs and making sure everyone was happy all afternoon.

Today, he got the barbecue out again, just for the children and us. He insisted we all sit in the garden together and enjoy the weather as a happy family would.

It’s bullshit, and it’s too little, too late.

This farce will not change my mind because I know now that if I were to believe his lies and back down in my plans to leave him, he would instantly change back to the cruel, abusive man that he’s been for the last few years. He may have fooled me for all this time, but he’s not tricking me any more.