Abi

Weight

I received a letter this morning informing me that the government’s recently announced changes are starting to take effect, which means that a benefit I receive for the children will be cut by £10 per week. This means I now need to find an extra £40 per month. I’m almost sure that if I were…

Integrity

Discoveries are not always good things, but maybe something to learn from… I discovered that I speak from my head and not my heart. I’m not sure I’ve ever really spoken from the heart. I definitely think that what I say or do an awful lot of the time is driven by fear, but how…

Testing

Dreaming I am in bed with Greg; he starts to touch me. I get aroused, despite having no feelings for him. I know I have to listen to my body and have sex with him. I go to the toilet first (I needed a wee in waking life); while I’m in there, I hear banging. I presume the banging is the bed against the wall and that Greg is masturbating. I open the bathroom door and see Danny coming up the stairs. It is 4.45 am, and Danny is just getting home. I look to the bedroom; Greg is packing a suitcase….

Boiling

Dreaming I am in what looks like a school hall; it is a big room with windows all along one side and a brown-framed door on the right-hand side (of the windows). I am going to have my photograph taken. Linda is the photographer. It is daytime. Linda has gone to a wardrobe on the left, the brown wardrobe that I used to have in Devon Street, and is holding up a turquoise cardigan she says I should wear for one of the photographs. I…

Fear

I really can’t take any more of this and will be doing everything in my power to get out in the next few months. I really hope and pray that I have the strength to do so. I’ve put up with his shit for long enough. I am so sick of the mental cruelty. Yet…

Licence

Dreaming I am at Ruth’s house dropping Rosie off for a party. It is 11 am. I go into the house; Ruth is there fighting back tears. I hear her tell Abi that her dad died yesterday. I am about to leave to go shopping. I ask Ruth if she needs anything. She says she…

Ignite

Dreaming I pull into a car park and park my car. I am at a hospital; there are alarms going off and firemen everywhere. The hospital is on fire. I can’t see any flames, but I can see smoke. To my right, a Japanese man gets out of his car and takes four photographs of…

Severed

Dreaming I am at the register office in Linton. I am there to collect some papers/document. The cost is £68. The person at the desk isn’t sure this is right but tells me they will be ready later that afternoon. I look at the paper in my hand; it actually says £12. I tell the…

You

We saw Abi today. Afterwards, Tom said, “I think Abi is fantastic; she’s clever, highly intelligent, shrewd and not a bit like you. I really admire her, and I wish you were more like her.” I feel like a worthless piece of shit.

Submerged

Dreaming I am driving my car in the car park in Seabourne to get to the beach. It is a hot and sunny summer’s day around lunchtime, and I thought the car park would be packed, but in fact, it’s fairly empty. There are loads of spaces for me to park at the far end…

Open

Dreaming I am upstairs with Abi and Connor, squeezing spots on Connor’s eyes. The spots aren’t visible, but I know they’re there. Loads and loads of pus is coming out of each one. I go around the house opening the windows. I open two upstairs and then one downstairs – the living room one. I…

Collect

Dreaming I have to go to London to collect Lucy and bring her back to her house. I’m almost certain I know the way and feel quite confident. I get in the car with Abi to head to London; I think we have a two-hour journey ahead of us. Before I know it, we are in London, and I’ve received a text from Lois, who is with Lucy. It is of a map pinpointing which cafe/restaurant they’re in, and which table…

Waiting

For the third time this week, Tom is at the pub twenty miles away. He left home just before 5pm. He planned on coming back sometime after midnight. Usually, he’ll come home on the last train, stumble through the door, pour himself a glass of wine, maybe a second, before staggering up to bed and…

Tag: Abi