Job/Work

Struck

At today’s counselling session, I really wanted to talk about Phil, relationships, lack of work and direction, but the counsellor wanted to continue what we’d started with Mum last time, so we chatted about that the whole time. I’m glad we did. She said she’s seen people before whose childhoods haven’t been as bad as…

Work

Dreaming Viv is angry about having to go out to work; her husband, Tony, is telling her she has to. She doesn’t see why she should have to. I suggest to her just doing one hour a day at Jellicombe and to save her wages. To leave it in the bank and use it to…

Bittersweet

My Dad rang this morning; he said he wanted to see how I was, as I’d been on his mind the last few days. He wondered if everything was okay. The cynical part of me thinks he saw something that I posted on Facebook last night, and he’s turning it around so it seems that…

Unveiled

Today was so hard. I spent the whole day questioning if I am only interested in Phil now because he’s moved on, or was it just the kick I needed to make me see what he means to me? The more the day went on, the more my head imploded until, in the end, I…

Synchronicities

I’ve had a lot of indecision over the last year or two about my career, partly because of not feeling good enough – which I’m ignoring even if it still tries to remind me. Partly it was also because there are so many things I love doing – that I want to do and that…

Avenue

I have had such a productive week, and it feels really good. I have finally got my head around one of the avenues I’m exploring for earning money – writing – and this week I have made myself work from 10 am until 3 pm each day. I am so pleased with the progress I’ve…

Contribute

I had a look at a forum I used to use a few years ago, and a strange feeling washed over me reading everyone’s threads. Firstly, it felt comfortable – I missed the chats I used to participate in. Secondly, reading through threads of people I used to know fairly well, I realised how much…

Duty

Yesterday, my mum turned up with a bag in her hand and asked if she could stay the night. She’d had an argument with my step-dad, and she didn’t want to be around him. I let her in, and she spent the entire afternoon and evening offloading it all onto me. Once she left today,…

Wednesday

I’m not happy. Driving back from the school run, it suddenly struck me that despite fooling myself for a long time that I am happy with my life, I’m not. My life is empty and meaningless. It’s 9.27am on a Wednesday morning; I’ve done the school run, and I’m back in bed. Why? Because I’m…

Monopolised

Tom joined us for a barbecue today. Later, my dad popped round for a visit. Dad didn’t ask where the kids were – in their rooms – and he didn’t even attempt to say hello to them when they came downstairs shortly afterwards. Tom offered him food from the barbecue and then sat with us…

Dare

I woke up in a bad mood because of Phil taking over the decision-making. I was tired and grumpy, which was made worse when I received a phone call from a place I went for a job interview yesterday; I hadn’t got the job. Later, someone broke into our garden and stole Josh’s bike, and…

Going

I woke up feeling really down and worthless this morning. I had thoughts that I won’t even get an interview for the jobs I’ve applied for because I’m just not good enough. I feel totally worthless and like a failure. Not just because of work or career, but in all areas of my life. I…

Try

I succeeded today. The only way to fail is to not try, and to try is to be successful. I took action. The steps were small but significant because they took me one step forward compared to where I was yesterday. I suppose all I can do is take one small step forward at a…

Clone

This is it. This is the point in my life where I either change or I become a clone of my mother. The promise I made to myself as a teenager to never turn out like my mum is happening anyway. The woman who moans and complains constantly that life is terrible, that it’s boring,…

Relaunch

After months of not knowing what to do, yesterday I decided to just do something. Anything. I debated getting a job in a shop, but then thought, why don’t I just restart my photography business? At least that way, I’d hopefully be getting some work, but still be able to be home for the children,…

The time has come for me to start thinking about what’s next in life for me. I’ve done what I wanted to do with my life up to now, but a time of change is upon me. Actually, it has been for the last two years. Today I went to the local college to see…

Assumption

Dreaming There is a man in the garage doing some work for us, possibly decorating. As he has helped us, there is an assumption that I will fancy him. I do feel a little attracted to him. Amelia comes over with Zoe and asks me for a new bra in time for school in the morning. I tell her it’s too late as it’s a Sunday late afternoon and all the shops are shut. She says she keeps getting goosebumps where her boobs have grown and no longer fit in her bra….

Rebuilding

I built a bookcase today. I was tempted to ring Tom and ask him to do it, but then I thought, why don’t I just give it a go? I used to make furniture years ago before he came along and started telling me I couldn’t, so I did, and it turned out perfectly. It…

Colours

I created a website today and have decided to try and start my own photography business. The design and colours of the website are a true reflection of me, of what I crave at this time in my life and who I am deep down. All I have to do now is get over my…

Charm

Tom and I disagreed a few days ago; it was over in minutes, and as far as I was concerned, that was that, but that night he got up from the sofa and went up to bed without saying a word to me, something that hasn’t happened for months. I was really upset about that,…

Nit

Dreaming I am looking in the mirror; my skin is really clear. I have sunglasses on and push them onto my head, over my hair. Greg comes in with a man from work and puts some cards on the side; one is addressed to me and says ‘Open Monday’. It has silly love poems on…

Concertina

Dreaming I am at home and going to make pasta. Greg is with me and breaks the pasta up. I ask him to go and buy some more. He gets in my car, which is yellow, and drives it carelessly and dangerously. When he comes back, my car is ruined, crushed. Greg gets out of…

Tag: Job/Work