Annoyed

Wild

As I lay in bed last night, I started to question why I chose May 1st to start my yes challenge. I wondered why I don’t just start today; why does it have to be a significant date? What’s wrong with now? One of the first things I saw on Facebook today was this: ‘There…

Purging

Destroyed

I saw my counsellor for the second time today. She asked how my week had been and if I knew what I’d like to talk about today. I explained that, despite having seen a couple of counsellors before, I’d always refused to talk about my mum, so I said that for our sessions I know…

Judgement

I woke feeling much better than I have for the last few weeks. I felt positive, balanced and centred ~ a state the relationship anxiety course leader calls ‘when your heart is open instead of closed down through fear.’ I was energised and ready to tackle the housework that’s been building all week – a…

Bittersweet

My Dad rang this morning; he said he wanted to see how I was, as I’d been on his mind the last few days. He wondered if everything was okay. The cynical part of me thinks he saw something that I posted on Facebook last night, and he’s turning it around so it seems that…

Unafraid

Dreaming I am at home; two insects are flying around. They are silver in colour and look a bit like stick insects or dragonflies. They have a long body/tail and long wings, and they keep flying everywhere. At one point, I think there is a third one. I look around the house; there are insects and flies…

Quirks

Other

Yesterday continued to be a complete washout. I spent the evening at home feeling grumpy and unable to occupy myself. I flitted around between TV channels and crap on the internet before giving up and going to bed at about 10.30 pm. This morning I woke up full of rage, and I don’t know why….

Decision

Last week, Phil said he’d booked for us to go away this weekend to meet his Dad’s side of the family. He told me he’d booked a dog-friendly hotel so we could take Jasper, who is only five months old. I told him I was going to ask my sister, Susie, to have Jasper. He…

Silence

After six days of silence, I still haven’t heard from Theo, and I feel a bit annoyed. I feel used. But wouldn’t it be true to say that maybe I used him just as much, especially as I don’t want more from him. However, meeting him has made me realise that I will not settle…

Deep

When I have a counselling session that goes quite deep, it can leave me feeling a little bit like I’m in shock for a day or two afterwards. It leaves me drained and exhausted.

Intuition

Two days ago, I had an overwhelming urge to speak to Craig again. We haven’t spoken properly since November, other than the odd text here and there, so I texted him a quick hello. He replied asking how I was and said we should meet up sometime to catch up, so we arranged it for…

Dealbreaker

Dreaming I am going out for lunch with Craig. He pulls up in his car, and I am in mine, but kind of in his too. I have all the children with me. I hadn’t told him they were all coming along. Craig pulls up the back window, and I can’t see behind me anymore. We are parked in the car park of the Carvery in Northbridge. I wonder if our cars are blocking the way for others, but no one…

Self-Conscious

Dreaming I’m at home; Josh comes home feeling happy. Tom goes up to his bedroom; I can hear him shouting at Josh. I go to Josh, and Tom leaves; Josh is hurt and upset. I ask Josh what it was about; he said he was at Danny’s, needed a poo, chose the toilet that had no door and was open for all to see, and that a woman had come along and seen him. She had reported back to everyone else, and Josh thought it was funny. I’m at a hospital in the waiting room with Susie,…

Smutty

Dreaming

List

I decided to make a list tonight of all the reasons I will never get back together with Tom. I went through my diaries, listing everything out, and as I read through everything, more and more memories came back to the surface – things I had never written about but were obviously hurtful enough for…

Same

We’re moving out in sixteen days. I’ve packed four boxes so far. I have a pile of letters that need responding to. I need to sort out utilities for the new house, yet I don’t feel like doing any of it. I think the stress of the last few years, coupled with the stress of…

Warning

Dreaming I am driving in my car when warning lights come on, and the car starts to break down. I’m going quite fast at the time and have to pull over to safety. I think I am on the motorway. I pull over and put my hazard lights on. A car comes up behind me,…

Snow

It snowed really heavily last night and was still snowing this morning when we awoke. The girls stayed off school, Tom and Josh stayed home from work, and we all played out in the snow. My neighbour Sam came around in the afternoon; we all built snowmen in the garden, but then Tom started making…

How?

Looking back, I can see that I’ve always put everyone else’s needs before my own. I always thought that was what made me a good mum, partner, sister, daughter and friend, but I’m starting to feel like a complete fool.

Waste

We went out for lunch today. If we ever go out, we almost always go to the same restaurant, and I pretty much always order the same food because I love it so much. This week, I’ve decided to go on a diet and try to deal with the extra pounds I’ve put on, so…

Sided

Dreaming I am in my living room. I look to my right and see a brown snake near the door. I’m not sure at first whether it is a snake or a slow worm, but I realise after a while that it has to be a snake as it is too long to be a…

Cold

I’m so angry with myself. Annie had me up so much on Sunday night, and last night even more so. I felt as if I had about two hours of sleep all night, so today I’ve been exhausted. At half past eight tonight, I told Tom I was going up to bed. I got my…

Trick

Dreaming

Doubt

Despite what the counsellor said about me being negative, I’m starting to have doubts. I think she was wrong. Maybe I am negative, but Tom isn’t innocent in all of this; in fact, I’m starting to wonder if I might be in a verbally and emotionally abusive and controlling relationship. I’m also wondering if my…

Cheat

Dreaming Tom has told me that he has cheated on me by having a one-night stand. I don’t react and just accept it. He also tells me that he’s going to London for the weekend as he’s seeing someone else but will be back after the weekend. I accept that too. I am sitting on…

Always

My Dad rang this morning to tell me that my aunt has died unexpectedly. I got off the phone and, through tears, told Tom what had happened, but I had interrupted him while he was listening to records. He started shouting at me for annoying him, and said it’s always my fault that he’s annoyed….

Dropped

Dreaming I am in a house for a gathering of some sort. I go into a back room where there is a crystal display. There is a very large crystal that you can put your hands inside, and it changes shape. I do this several times. My Dad is there overseeing it all. Someone comes…

Bunking

Dreaming I am in school with Sarah; it is first school, and we are singing nursery rhymes. I am bored as I know them already. At break time, Sarah and I leave the school and start walking down a very steep hill. I am struggling to carry a suitcase/fridge down with me. I realise it…

Crushed

Dreaming I am with Tom, Josh, Amelia and Rosie going to collect my car from the garage; it has been having some work done on it. I notice the car has a big dent on one side that wasn’t there before. Tom opens the door and pops the dent out. I feel angry and shout…

Appointment

Dreaming I have a hospital appointment at 1 pm and have to walk down a long street to get to it; there are traffic lights and grass along the way. I get to a building and stop at a window. I tell a woman that I have an appointment with Dr Bartholomew. She tells me…

Imposing

Dreaming I am living at Church Lane, but this time it belongs to me. It is the summer. Abi lives with me, and Izzy lives next door. Abi comes into the front living room; she is dressed smartly. I ask her where she is going; she tells me to a meeting, and she goes, leaving…

Digesting

Dreaming I have two men inside my body – one on either side of me – their heads are level with my stomach. They are both called Adam. One is Adam Jones. I keep looking down at my body as I can still see the outline of their bodies inside of mine; their heads are…

Whisky

Dreaming I enter a bus and climb up to the top deck, but I have to do this through a series of obstacles; there are no stairs. I reach the top deck and am looking for ten empty seats, as there are ten of us in my group. I’m not sure who the ten are…

Josh

Dreaming I am in a large department store with Josh. I see Fern and ask her if she is pregnant; she is, and she shows me her tummy. I show her mine because I’m pregnant too. I hear Bridget call me; she’s pregnant too. I ask Fern how long she has left; she says two weeks, but…

Tag: Annoyed