Karen

Yes

I had an interesting conversation with Tom today. I told him how I felt yesterday when I took the kids out for lunch; how sad it made me feel. I elaborated and told him how I feel as though I have to stay single for at least the next eleven years until Annie is eighteen,…

Comfort

Dreaming I am in Jellicombe when I see Karen; she looks a mess. She is fatter; her hair is wet, but a mess, and she is tired and crying. I ask what’s wrong, and she says she’s been up with Charlie all night and that he’s really wheezy. She has Charlie in a pram; I…

Work

Dreaming Viv is angry about having to go out to work; her husband, Tony, is telling her she has to. She doesn’t see why she should have to. I suggest to her just doing one hour a day at Jellicombe and to save her wages. To leave it in the bank and use it to…

Bittersweet

My Dad rang this morning; he said he wanted to see how I was, as I’d been on his mind the last few days. He wondered if everything was okay. The cynical part of me thinks he saw something that I posted on Facebook last night, and he’s turning it around so it seems that…

Single

I started the relationship anxiety course today. Only four minutes into the video, something struck me that hadn’t before. To be with Phil, I needed to let go of being single, and I never did that. In fact, I clung desperately to my single life, convincing myself that it was what I wanted, that it…

Lock

Dreaming I am in Alan and Sam’s house outside in an alley; it is daytime. Sam has come outside to look at something. We go back inside, as I am going to be at their house when Sam goes out. I am sitting on a chair using my laptop. It is nighttime; it is dark….

Flaws

Never has it been clearer to me that I need to do some major work on myself. I’m taking a long, hard look at myself this week and seeing that I am actually completely unfulfilled in almost every area of my life. I feel empty much of the time, and I lack intimate relationships because…

Illogical

I suddenly had the strongest intuitive sense that I needed to have sex with Tom today. It didn’t make any sense to my logical mind, but I couldn’t rid myself of the feeling. After trying to make sense of it for a couple of hours, I decided to listen to it instead. I sent Tom…

Unconventional

I went to Karen’s this morning for a quick catch-up. During our chat, she said I am really unconventional and that I probably always have been, and that she thinks I will become more so the older I get. She says she really sees me changing lately, that I no longer seem to care about…

Bewildered

I went for breakfast with Karen and Cheryl today. We chatted about friends and their values, which prompted me to say that I felt I’d changed so much in the last year or so, whereas before I was really accepting, understanding and forgiving, I now am the opposite. If a friend expresses something that I…

Learning

Last year I spent a short while saying yes to everything. This year I’m learning how important it is for me to say no. I often say yes to things I don’t want to do or that I know will have a negative effect on me in some way. If I’m going to really live…

Self-contained

More and more I’m starting to realise that I’m a selfish person, but the realisation isn’t actually bothering me. There was a time when this would have really upset me; I’d have denied it and done anything I could to prove myself to be selfless, but now I just don’t really mind or care. Is…

2014

It’s the first day of 2014 and I feel really positive, content and happy. The children and I spent the morning preparing for our ‘Open House.’ I decided a couple of weeks ago that I would invite friends and family to come round any time of the day, spend time together, share food and start…

Duty

Yesterday, my mum turned up with a bag in her hand and asked if she could stay the night. She’d had an argument with my step-dad, and she didn’t want to be around him. I let her in, and she spent the entire afternoon and evening offloading it all onto me. Once she left today,…

Directions

Susie and I had lunch together, and I had a surreal moment of realisation. Firstly, Susie and I have lost the connection we had. Whereas we used to spend hours together most days, and then still ring each other up later to talk more, today we sat for ninety minutes and soon ran out of…

Sense

Karen and I went to see the psychic today. She talked about previous relationships and said that I’d had a really rough ride with relationships my entire life. She then repeated that and really stressed the point about how hard a time I’d had, which is something I’ve only accepted myself in the last few…

Future

I’m still having some doubts about whether I feel enough for Phil or not. Really, these fears started last week when I spoke to Karen about a forthcoming appointment we have with a psychic who is reputed to be amazing. I’ve since Googled her and found many reports claiming the same. My fear at the…

Danger

CONTENT WARNING This dream contains sexual violence, including rape. Dreaming

Surface

I don’t think Phil is genuine, not the way I once did. More and more, it feels as though he’s created a version of himself that he thinks I want, and every now and then, the real him slips through. Those moments make me question everything. A friend messaged me tonight to ask how I…

Crumpled

Dreaming Karen gives Annie a birthday present: a blind for her bedroom. I put it up in a room that is nothing like any room in our house; it makes the room quite dark. The blind has two or three parts to it, so I raise the first part to lower the other two parts. As I do so, the one on the right becomes slightly crumpled. Mum suggests opening it up as much as the fabric will allow to un-crumple it….

Forgot

I woke up still feeling really angry about having to take Jasper away with us, but I spoke to Karen and Susie, who both said I shouldn’t if I didn’t want to. Regardless of whether people were expecting him or not, they both said that it wasn’t fair for me to have to do something…

Dare

I woke up in a bad mood because of Phil taking over the decision-making. I was tired and grumpy, which was made worse when I received a phone call from a place I went for a job interview yesterday; I hadn’t got the job. Later, someone broke into our garden and stole Josh’s bike, and…

Tradition

Dreaming

Tag: Karen

Yes