I went to Karen’s this morning for a quick catch-up. During our chat, she said I am really unconventional and that I probably always have been, and that she thinks I will become more so the older I get. She says she really sees me changing lately, that I no longer seem to care about the things that bothered me before.

I think it completely ties in with the two dreams I had about turning upside down – Exhilarated and World – and with hearing ‘Less than a year to live’. I believe they’re both about the old me dying and a new me being born.

I explained to Karen how I seem to be easily letting go of people and situations in my life that no longer serve me on a higher level, and that the only one I struggle to let go of is Tom; but as my dream, Petals, seemed to indicate the other night, maybe it’s out of fear of being alone or not coping. Last night’s dream, Unafraid, featured spiders, and for the first time ever, I wasn’t scared. Have I made some kind of internal change that my fear of something is now lessened?

I don’t know, but I do know, because I feel it so strongly, so intuitively, that something big is going on inside of me. Maybe it is nothing more than the physical and the spiritual peri-menopause; maybe all women go through this. I just know that in a year I am not going to be who I am now.